NYE Dinner/My face is shrinking (with pics)

Happy 2012! Okay, so I'm a bit early. I'm getting old, you know--I am 32!--and will be getting my butt to bed right around midnight.

Tonight, I went out to dinner with my honey, my mom, her honey, and some of his siblings. I enjoyed it, but I was having food envy issues.

Everyone was enjoying the buffet, their prime rib dinners, and the complimentary fresh bread and butter while I had to search the menu for something that I may be able to eat. Turned into a $20 broiled walleye dinner with a plain baked potato.

I didn't know the difference between baked fish and broiled. Broiled apparently has some oil it's cooked in and then poured over the top. Can't have oils...most anyway. Made me nervous about eating any of the fish. I had what I think was about 2 oz without issue (thankfully!). I ate little of the baked potato without anything added. Would rather have had prime rib and bread slathered in whipped butter. [insert whiny whimper]

I may have been able to have some lean steak, but I didn't want to push it. I know my stomach (technically, I have two of them now, but I mean the one that actually gets food in it) can generally handle fish without issue. Steak, even if very tender, would be a new experience and one I wouldn't want to have in public -- see yesterday's entry involving my friend's driveway for a very good reason why I try new things at home only.

It was kind of amusing when the waitstaff came back after we ate and asked me if my meal was okay, because it looked like I barely touched it. Shoot, those fillets will last me for several meals. I'll send up throwing one away after getting at last three more meals out of the other.

ETA:
The other day, at my post-op group therapy meeting, the facilitator kept going on about how much thinner my face is. My honey also commented on it later that night. I didn't see it...until now.

Here's a pic showing how I looked with I started the pre-op program in April and how I looked tonight, when I was getting ready to go out for New Years. I can certainly see a difference in my chin and neck area. Also, my dimples are showing a little more.

Sorry that I just threw up in your driveway!

I went to visit a friend today that I hadn't seen in forever. We had a good time catching up. Less pleasant was my final memory for tonight: having to go back into the house when I was trying to leave to say, "I just thew up in your driveway. Do you have hi-dry you want me to put on it?" Good times.

It was my first experience with vomiting since my surgery. I can't lay the blame anywhere for why it happened--could have been too much/wrong foods when I had lunch at 3:30 PM, a blockage of some sort, or an issue with my protein shake I sipped on while the friend and her family had dinner at 6 pm. I'd like to not repeat it if possible though.

Everyday really does bring new experiences with this. Some good, some bad, and some that are kind of embarrassingly funny.

Walking at the store leads to big purchases

I spent over an hour at the grocery store, using the time as exercise (gotta get my ass in gear somehow). The drawback is that I spent $100 on food via impulse buys. I eat three 3 oz meals a day. There's no way I need $100 worth of food! Most of those groceries I'll have to force on Travis so that they don't go bad. I'm sure he'll be crushed. :P

Plus, since I have all that food, I want to EAT all that food. Case of too many choices.

NYE plans

Mom keeps having these small moments where she offers me food or a drink out of habit. I'm fine with that. It's not like she's waving cookies in front of me saying, "oooh, wouldn't this taste good...!"** I usually just say that I can't have it and she makes this funny oops/flinch face and we move on.

Tonight, my mom's boyfriend was on the phone with her and was double checking their plans for New Year's Eve. They're going to dinner, as is their usual tradition.

I guess he asked if my fiance and I wanted to go and she said that she'd check with me, not wanting to put me on the spot. After she hung up, she asked me and I said I'd talk to my Honey and get back to her tonight.

I then made a comment about how Travis can't complain, because I am a pretty cheap dinner date now. As soon as I said that, mom got this "OMG!" look on her face and said, "I didn't even think of that!" She was all embarassed for asking us out to dinner when I can't eat (much). I laughed.

I'm not sure if that means she wouldn't have asked me to go if she'd remembered or if it's just th idea she forgot again. I hope it's the second one, because I still like to go out and hang with people, even if I'm just going to have part of a plain baked potato. I'll make do and have a good time doing it.

**My Honey has done that and he has been told that each of those instances will keep him from having sex again for an additional day past my surgical recovery time. He's stopped quickly, ending up with three extra days on his celebacy sentance. lol

Two Week Anniversary

Today is my two week anniversary of the surgery. I'm doing well. Still only a little pain, which, when your organs are rearranged and/or cut in half, I figure that's appropriate for a while.

It doesn't see like two weeks, that's for sure. Been too busy swinging like a pendulum between, "oooh, I get to eat again!" and "please, dear God, don't make it time to eat again!" Learning to
prepare and eat foods that my new system requires and will accept seems to have been a full time job.

Today is Day 10 since my parole from the hospital. I still have adhesive all over my abdomen, though the pads that were given to me at my last appointment, which smell like gasoline and feel like baby oil, have helped. Some stuff is too close to Steri strips and incision sites for me to be
comfortable using the pads on them.

Also ten days later, I'm still really bruised on my stomach from all the Heparin shots. It's not even close to as bad as it was, but it's still bad. Does that make sense? The diameter of the bruising, which was half my stomach is lessening, but I still have a large purple area. Ten days and I still have purple bruising rising to the surface. Crazy.

Okay, I have to go. My cat is stalking my breakfast (an egg) and I need to focus to be able to fend off the poofy, gray ninja. She's not above slapping a dirty paw on the food to claim it as her own. If she does that, the rule is that she wins, because I am NOT eating it then.

Another day, another yucky feeling

Going to bed now, without getting two-thirds of my daily protein requirements in, because I feel yucky.

I tried eating less food at my dinner meal, without improvement. I could stay up and try to get in another protein shake, making me 17 grams short instead of 20 grams, but trying to get the thicker liquid into already unhappy stomach just seems foolish.

I'm actually just going to take a nap, not pass out for the night. My plan is to wake up and go grocery shopping, getting plenty of protein-rich foods. I need to find some way to get my protein in and my current food supply, which certainly needs replenishing, is sorely lacking.

Sleeping a couple or a few hours may help me move toward my old sleep schedule, which I really need to get back on. I start work again in less than a week.

I was suppose to do three 12-hour shifts right off the bat when I came back to work, but my awesome boss recognized that would be pretty hard on me. She asked me if it was okay if she tried to get the person who was working my shifts while I was on FMLA to work one of those 12 hour shifts next week. I agreed and so did my replacement. I am very happy to say that he took my Thursday shift.

Now, I'm just stuck with Tuesday and Wednesday, giving me an extra day to recoup after my first week back. Uses up more of my PTO, but I'm okay with that.

Fighting my cat for food

Ever tried defending your food from a food-obsessed feline? I experience this evertime I make a protein drink or when I have a meal.

We don't have a kitchen table--we have kitchen computer desks, because this apartment is so small. Laelah is allowed on the desk, but she's to stay away when we eat, which, of course, she doesn't do.

It's cute for a minute or so, when she's trying to pretend that she's there for affection and not the contents of my spoon. She rubs on my hand and purrs really loud. She also tries this slow move where she tries to cross in front of my laptop to my bowl. The goal, I think, is to move so slow that I don't see it. She's a big, fluffy, gray Maine Coon. She has no hope in a career as a ninja.

She also has huge anime eyes that she bats around when there's something she wants. You seen Puss in Boots from Shrek 2, where he makes all the people around him melt with "awwwwe"? Laelah's the live version. It makes it so hard to say no or be mad.

She get's treats quite often (too often, thanks to Travis) that she adores. She gets them so often that she even knows the difference in sounds between small plates that I use for dinner and the tea plates that Travis puts her treats on. She gets gooshy foods that make her happy and I get vitamins that make me feel yacky. How is this fair?

Not feeling well and running out of food

I still don't feel good, but I need to eat. This girl needs to have enough protein grams, so she can keep her hair as much as possible!

My whiney issue is exacerbated by the fact that I'm running out of food that I can actually consume. I have no freaking clue how I am running low, considering I eat so very little at a time.

Post-op group meeting

Today, I feel a little icky. Just off but not horrible, which could be caused by anything from overeating last night, to sugar crashing, to my body still adjusting to this new way of eating.

Today's my first post-op meeting. Should be interesting. There were several of us from my pre-op meetings having their surgeries within the last month.

Truthfully, since we meet with the pre-op group for 15 minutes to allow them to ask questions, I'd rather not be the newest off the operating table. Hate being put on the spot and they tend to go after the newest with most of the questions.

ETA: Group was good. No too many questions from the pre-op group. They seemed shy. Post-op was just three of us, but that gave more time to talk.

Sugar Crash

Never had a blood sugar crash before. Put me down as never wanting to be a diabetic, not that there are many on the "Pick me!" waiting list for that. I am shaky, hot, and tired. Now, I know what a menopausal, narcoleptic tea-cup Chihuahua feels like.

I slept too long with no fuel in my system. I'm already taking in very few calories because of the surgery and then I slept longer than I intended, so my body was just out of what it needed. I knew what it was because my mom's type 2 and crashes occassionally. What I felt and what she described were the same.

Post Op Appt/Weigh In

Had my first post-op appt with Dr. PeopleSkills.

Had my staples out, which was less painful and scary than I had imagined (aren't most things?!). Still hurt though.

Also, I was weighed. The last time I was weighed was around Dec 10th, when I had my last pre-op appointment. Since then, I've lost 19 lbs (41 lbs since the beginning of April). Yay!

In celebration, since I can't wear anything that doesn't have a stretchy waist, I bought new (and on clearance) jogging pants. Very exciting.

Christmas

Christmas was fun. I enjoyed spending time with my family and my future inlaws.

It was a bit of a struggle when others could eat the Christmas feast (cookies and scalloped potatoes, my favorites!) though and I was forced to eat 2 oz of pureed soups. I admit, I did end up licking a cookie that had Splenda sprinkled on it, but it was for the greater good--it staved off a psychotic break brought on by cravings and jealousy.

Staples and a stitch

I have ten staples and one stitch (one stitch. hardcore, right?) that I would pay dearly for someone to remove ASAP. Anyone? Just kidding...mostly. I get them removed on Monday, but that seem so far away. Freaking skin itches around them. Doing my best not to scratch.

Fall

My pants leg got caught when I put down the foot rest on my recliner, making me fall on my hands and knees. Ugh.

Didn't hurt anything on my stomach externally. Internally, I'm waiting to see if I get nauseated or have swelling, which would be I tore something on the surgery site and am bleeding internally. If not, and the surgeon's nurse suspects I won't because my fall was already 15 minutes ago and symptoms should have already begun to show, I didn't tear anything. <-- Here's to hoping!

However, my damn knee hurts. (ETA: and still hurts, though thankfully not as bad, as of 12/28/11)

Cabin Fever

My cabin fever is bad enough that I am willing to go Christmas shopping with my mom tonight.

I don't like stores of people when I feel good. Feeling bad is going to make me try to run people over--"an eye for an eye" thing after having my heels slammed into with a cart, which happens nearly every stinking time I go shopping. It's easier to be mean back to people when I'm sick or grumpy.

Mom's probably only taking me for my disabled parking. ;)

ETA: It actually wasn't bad. I didn't want to bludgeon anyone with the nearest piece of cheap plastic crap I could reach. Still too many people, but no one obnoxious.

Pureed foods blow

I had to break out my Chocolate protein shake for something that tasted normal.

Pureed food sucks.

If I weren't on narcotics and alone, I may be tempted to go to McDs, get a hamburger, and lick the burger, just to taste something familiar (and good) instead of various mushed blah. <--I wouldn't actually do it, with or without narcotics in my system, but desperation for normal makes you think funny things.

Home is scary

I have to say that it's a little scary to be home.

At the hospital, I knew that, if a problem arose, the staff would be on it right away. Now, I'm the one to have to decide if a symptom needs to be run by someone and to make that phone call.

I'm on a major pain killer. Should I really be in charge of anything? lol

Plus, I'm on less of them (bye, bye Toradal. I'll miss you, my friend.) so things suddenly feel worse, making me unnecessarily worried.

Drain removal and going home

You know that scene in Alien, where the little alien shoots from the guys stomach? Yeah, I now know what a less violent version of that feels like! *eek!*

There was a drain tube in the middle of my abdomen, somewhere around my stomach. The doctor slowly pulled that out. I could feel it move, touching organs that should never feel external touch, as it made its way to the surface and out of my body. *shudder*

I've now had my stomach tickled from the inside. I don't recommend it. Plus, it hurts like a bitch when it finally makes it out of the little incision on the skin.

The drain removal was a pre-parole activity. I'm at home :D

Fooooooood, etc.

I get to eat!!!!!!

ETA: I don't remember if I was allowed 30 cc an hour or 60 cc. Either way, it was yummy, because I'd been deprived. Cream of chicken soup will probably never be yummy in any other situation. At this point, I was also able to drink as much as I wanted.

I'm doing laps in the hallway for entertainment. Hospitals are boring, even with free movies (seriously, who can watch Inception on narcotics?!)

I have an ache in my abdomen, a little pain at the incision sites, and sore muscles from being stuck in a bed for too long. Otherwise, I'm good. Nothing that I can really complain about.

Morphine was done yesterday, mostly at my request. I'd be a horrible opium addict. Shit gives me a headache.

Hospital Rambles

Few things...
1) Yay, Travis is coming to visit me! I haven't seen him since around 8 PM on Thursday, at which time I was loopy and all post-opish. I'm a big baby when I'm hurt and I want Travis cuddles.

Last night I told him to stay home because the three visitors I had exhausted me and it would have been a waste of a drive for him to come watch me sleep. Tonight, we're going to watch a movie and I'm going to get me some cuddles.

(ETA: yeah, I zonked out within a half hour of him showing up. Drugs are good, but they make me sleepy)

2) Heprin shots hurt like a mother.

3) Heprin allows for some spectacular bruises. My abdomen is covered in them...and adhesive. I'm all bruisy and sticky.

4) I'm suppose to go home tomorrow morning. I will be so happy to see Travis and be at home, but mostly I will be happy that there will be no one trying to stab me with a needle!

Day 1, Post-op

I am doing well. :) Surgery was yesterday at 1 PM, was out of recovery and into my room at 7 PM, and I was up and walking around a bit by 10 AM today. I have some pain, but not a lot. Mostly, I am just tired.

Made it through

I've been out of surgery/recovery for about 12 hours. Seems to be going well.

I'm in some pain, but not a major amount. The pain I can deal with. What I want more than anything is to sleep, but he evil nurse and CNA keep waking me up for vitals, shots, etc.

I'm rather proud that the above is coherent, since I'm nicely medded up.

Stomach surgery today and I'm hungry!

Ever notice that, when you're really hungry, time slows down until all you can focus on is the hunger? That's where I'm at. I haven't eaten since before I fell asleep last night around 8 PM. I don't even check in at the hospital until 10:30. I'm going to go all cannibal on someone before then!

Travis will go crazy without me.

I'll be in the hospital for three days. The cats are going to drive Travis cah-razy! Mwahahahahaha! He can barely handle one night when he has the night off and I'm at work because Emilee is soooooo verrrrrrry neeeeeeedy. He'll be certifiable by the time I get home. This amuses me. I'm mean. :D

Three days and counting

At about this time in three days, I should be heading to Recovery. Eeeek!

Last pre-op appt with surgeon

Had my final pre-op appointment with Dr. H. My surgeon has no people skills. He's great at what he does, but if he called me "big" one more time I was going to sock him in the nose.

Date aquired!

Received my surgery date! It's Dec 15th. That's less than ten days away. Eeek!

I'm both excited and scared. Mostly excited.