A glimpse inside my head right now:

I have high anxiety. Yesterday, I had a panic attack. I haven't had one in several years. Thankfully, this one was pretty small--I had a short fit of sobbing, my heart kept racing, and, according to my SO, my eyes were big like a scared animal. To keep from freaking out any more, I took a Lorazepam, curled up in my recliner, cuddled with a cat, and listened to some relaxing classical music on my iPod. Eventually, I fell asleep and woke feeling much calmer.

Last month, I was considering going off my anxiety meds, because I felt so good. This month is so much different. The stress from deciding whether to take the new job is probably a good part of my issues. I was pretty worked up over that. Plus, as my weight decreases, my thyroid medication may need to be lowered. That pill revs up my system. If it's too high, it could be over-amping my anxiety as a side effect.

One moment, I'm fine and the next I'm super stressed out about...well, nothing... and everything. I feel like something bad is going to happen, but I have no idea what. If that lasts a while, then my brain finds other things to stress on.

Two days ago, I was fine with not losing weight. I've been at a stand-still for a couple weeks, but I'm still exercising and changing my shape. Today, I'm depressed about it.

I've lost 97 lbs. I've had a pretty good self image for a while, liking my emerging body. As my anxiety increases, that changes. Right now, I feel big and self conscious. I feel like I'll never get to my goal and this is always going to be a big struggle.

I'm usually very good about throwing off a mood or a funk. I really do push to keep a positive attitude. This one is just giving me a hard time. Being tired all the time doesn't help, but I'm working on that (reasonable amount of sleep, new job, etc.)

I see Dr. Hal, my Internal Med doc and general overseer of my post-op health, in less than a month. At that time, I'll discuss this with him if it is still an issue. Until then, I'm going to try to get out of my head more--keep busy, do things that keep me distracted.