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Thursday, April 26, 2012

It's 9:30 in the morning and I've already gone on two walks totalling 50 minutes. Dr. PeopleSkills is never impressed, so he would say I didn't do enough. He wants me to walk an *hour* a day, not 50 minutes. heh-heh.
My nutritionist gave me the okay to eat raw veggies! I'm so excited! It gets hard eating pretty much just protein every day. I like variety.

I've been craving a salad since my surgery four and a half months ago. So, that's what I had tonight--cottage cheese, lettuce, grape tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, and Kraft Zesty Italian Lite dressing. Yum! The cool part was that the whole salad, including the cottage cheese and dressing came to 51 calories (I eat small. lol).

The Nutritionist reviewed a few days worth of my food diaries and told me I'm doing great. She approves of what I'm eating completely. That was a relief, because I always worry about that.

She said I should continue as I am, though I can go as high as 1000 calories a day, instead of 800. I'm going to try to stick to 900 or less for now though. I can also have up to 6 oz at a time, instead of 4 oz. I think I'll play that by ear, depending on what I am eating and it's nutritional content.

In all, it was a great visit. I'm very happy with the outcome.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I've had Ibuprofen and caffeine tonight. I am going to Gastric Bypass Hell for breaking several Commandments, but I'd do it again!




When I was a little girl, I would get migraines that would make me dizzy. They're called ocular migraines, meaning symptoms effect the eyes (black spots, partial loss of vision, or, in my case, motion sickness/dizziness.). The feeling of being dizzy was sometimes so strong that I couldn't walk across a room. To rise from a sitting position to standing would send my head spinning. Mostly, I could sit still and not feel like the Earth was going to buck me off, but not always. Any of these activities, at any given moment, could make me so dizzy that I would vomit violently.




I've mostly grown out of having this type of migraine, but I was gifted with one tonight.




I'm constantly slightly dizzy, but I get hit with strong waves of it too from time to time. I'm at work, so I can't just sleep it off. I tried calling my supervisor so I could go home, but she wouldn't answer the phone. As a last resort, I've had a couple tablets of Ibu (not my first choice, but a girl has to take what she can get her hands on), and, when that didn't work, I tried a cup of black tea, which has caffeine.




Pain relievers and caffeine are big no-nos in my bariatric surgery program. From Day One, it's drilled in that pain relievers and caffeine can create ulcers in the "new" stomach. Well, I had 4 oz of yogurt with my Ibu to protect my stomach and I seriously doubt my first half cup of anything containing caffeine since my surgery is going to wreck anything.




Truthfully, the caffeine and Ibu didn't help. I'd do it again though if there was a possibility of it helping. I'll abstain most days, but a migraine is the exception.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Holy Bouncing Baywatch Boobs, Batman!

I bought a new swim suit. It's a cheap one from Walmart (whopping $15), but still pretty cute.

I think my old one was a 22/24 and it just wasn't keeping things stable when I was jogging in the water. The skin on my stomach is loose and, when I jog, I've found that my stomach moves up and down, launching my chest up and down with it. While I'm not stacked like Dolly Pardon or anything, it's a little more chest movement than I am comfortable with. The water I work out in is about chest high, so my boobs were bouncing in and out of the water. I felt like it was an awkward, plus-size Baywatch moment.

The new one is an 18/20 and, when I was jogging in the water today, it seem to hold my stomach a little tighter. Things didn't move as much.


When I tried on the suit the other day, I modeled for myself in the bathroom mirror. One thing I've noticed is that my butt is rounder. It use to be big, but flat. Does that make sense?

I'm not sure if it is just fat loss or partly because I'm more active, creating better muscle tone. Either way, I'm a fan.


On the subject of clothes...

I put on one of my Honey's sweat shirts and it fit! I only tried on one, because, when the first try is a success, why ruin it with another try?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Pics down nearly 70 lbs post-op

I'm bored and tired. Let's update pics!

These were taken over the weekend, about 4 months post-op. When I weighed in on Monday, I was at 227.5 lbs. That's a post-op loss of 69.5(!) and a total loss of 89.5 lbs! I'm pretty happy with the results so far.

Photobucket Photobucket
In the face picture, I think I look a little drunk. It's my eyes. I can tell you the problem (and it wasn't Schnapps): I didn't have my glasses on and I'm so blind without them. Everything was fuzzy and I couldn't focus. The camera kept putting a huge glare in the lenses when I'd take a picture with my glasses on.

I posted pics about a month ago with comparisons to pictures from just after my surgery, if you'd like to see the difference.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

So. very. tired.

I am planning to call my Internal Medicine doc tomorrow, because I'm just so darn tired all the time. I am worried that I may be anemic.

I had an appointment with him about a month ago--my first one post-op--and I thought he did some iron test, but I think it was a certain kind of iron. I'm going to ask him if he can run a general iron test and maybe some other tests that my explain why I am so tired.

I can sleep 8 hours, wake up for two, and sleep another 8 hours. Little things wipe me out very quickly. Today, for example, after getting a full night's rest, I got up, got ready, and drove 10 miles to visit with an acquaintance for an hour or so. We just sat at her kitchen table and talked. By the time I got home, I'd lost all my energy and could have easily gone to sleep.

This constant tiredness is wearing on my mental state also. I'm very discontent in my work as of late, feeling burned out on my schedule. It makes me quick to be irritated with people too, which is not something I am comfortable with.

Hopefully, Dr. Hal can figure something out. I'm a fan of sleep, but only when it's refreshing.


ETA:
Saw Dr. Hal today and he ran some more blood tests, which came back without any abnormalities. He figures my fatigue is a withdrawal symptom from lowering my Paxil dose from 20 mg to 10 mg.

He said that they've found that Paxil is very hard to get off of due to withdrawal symptoms like I'm experiencing (fatigue, feelings of malcontent, etc.). They generally end up putting the patient on another anxiety/depression med first and ween them off the Paxil.

The plan is to double my dose again, putting me back at 20 mgs. When I see him in 2 months (my 6 month post-op appt), if I still want off Paxil, we can look into adding that other med and slowly getting me off my original pill. By then, my body will be better healed from the surgery and I can better assess whether I even need an anxiety med anymore.

He believes that doubling my dose will help with my mood and energy.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

5 AM and no calories left!

I've been so food obsessive today that I only have enough calories to have my two protein shakes between now and midnight tonight! It's five o'clock in the morning.

I'll actually be over 40 calories if that's all I have the rest of today, but I'll still be short on protein. Grrr!

If I were allowed more than 800 calories a day, what I ate wouldn't be so bad:
1/2 cup of cream corn
2.25 oz of tuna salad with lite mayo
1 serving of 13 Wheat Thins Fiber Select crackers
1 medium banana
1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter

So, my options are: A) be short on protein and only slightly over on calories (and be convinced I'll starve by the time midnight rolls around), or B) eat something high in protein tonight and increase the number of calories I'm over my allowed 800 per day.

I think I'll try to go with just the shakes after I wake up for work tonight, but I'll plan ahead and bring food in case I feel really hungry.



The root of the problem was several instances of poor planning and boredom.

1. I didn't bring food to my mom's place when I was doing laundry, so I had to search through her cupboards to find something within my food limits when I was really hungry around 1:30 AM. That lead to the cream corn.
2. I was home around 3 AM and was hungry again, so I had the tuna salad and too many Wheat Thins. <--I chose not to count out how many I wanted to eat and ended up having a full serving, instead of half. 3. Around 4:30 AM, there was a banana I found on the counter just about to go bad and oh how I love bananas and peanut butter. Well, I couldn't let that banana go bad! Being bored aided the decision to eat the 100 calorie banana and 100 calories tbsp of peanut butter--together, those two items are 25% of my daily calories. 4. Finally, I hadn't plugged my two required shakes into my food diary yet, so I didn't realize how few calories I had left for my meals. All preventable issues. I'm annoyed and frustrated with myself, but I'm going to look at this as a flub. I messed up and it will make me vigilant of my calorie usage in the future. These things happen and berating myself isn't going to fix anything. Learn and move forward, that's what I try to do. ETA:
It's 8:15 PM and I'm doing okay on just the shakes (so far). I have a string cheese in my lunch bag if things get dire--you know, like I begin to feel as if I could gnaw someone's arm off because I'm so hungry. I work in a hospital with sick people. I don't want to be gnawing on anybody here. Eeew!

I have nothing to do tonight at work other than wait for patients. All my other jobs are done, so I figure now's a good time to do an update...

I've officially lost 86.2 lbs, weighing in at 230.8 lbs! Also, I bought new scrubs in XL, thinking they'd be slightly too small yet, but I'd have them ready for the time they'd fit. Turns out, they already fit and I look fabulous. I'm wearing them tonight.

When I tried them on last night and I realized that I'm down to an XL from a 4XL (nearly a 5XL), I did an honest to goodness happy-dance. There was some major booty shaking.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Least favorite subject

One of the few subjects that I loathe to discuss is bowel movements and the resulting product. Plainly stated: I hate poop-talk. Sorry, can't stand it.

However, I'm a grown up, so sometimes it needs to be done. <---another reason why being an adult is overrated, in my opinion. At post op appointments, everyone, from the surgeon to the nutritionist, is interested in bowel movements--"how often?" "any constipation?"

Why am I posting about a subject I dislike? Because I had to break down and buy fiber tablets today. It's a common post-op reality.

The post op diet, at least the stage I am at, is focused primarily on getting protein in. All that protein-heavy food takes away space from fiber-rich foods. Plus, I'm not yet okayed to eat raw veggies, so that's another source I cannot access. Most days, I get between 4 and 7 grams. On a really good day, when I've been able to have a can of V8, I can get in around 10 grams of fiber. I should get AT LEAST twice that for optimum "regularity".

Truthfully, I'm tired of feeling bloated and digestively unhappy--unhappy enough to write about it! So, I decided to buck up and buy Fiber Choice sugar-free fiber tablets.

I've been good about taking my vitamins and prescribed pills lately. Now that I have a handle on those, a couple extra pills a day shouldn't mess me up...hopefully.

I have a hideous track record when it comes to consistently taking my pills. But, I'm growing as a person, as my body shrinks up. I'm more mindful of what needs to be done in my life and I'm doing a pretty good job of getting most of those things accomplished or, at least, started.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Tale From A Post-Op, Novice Cook

Splenda. I'm not a great fan, but it'll do in a pinch (like when it's free at work and I need a sweetener). Tonight, the pinch was my royally silly attempt at reducing the spicy-factor of the chili I made and brought for dinner.

A coworker told me to use sugar to reduce the spiciness. I can't have sugar. We debated back and forth about whether Splenda would work. Finally, I decided to throw caution to the wind, since it was a whopping 3.5 oz container of chili that I had in the fridge, so it wouldn't be a huge loss.

The result? A very sweet, slightly less spicy bowl of "eh". It wasn't great. It wasn't horrible. It was just an amusing example of the strange things we Healthy Journey-ists (WLSers and non, alike) will do to have good taste and stay on track

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Fatigue, my constant companion

Couple things going on for me:

1) I'm really tired all the time. I'm generally sleeping between 9 hours when I work and even more on my days off. I've lost 60+ pounds in three and a half months. I expect that to wear me down a little. If my body is stressed or improperly nourished enough to make me lose hair, that'll add to my fatigue, as will the fact that I had my period for three or more weeks (potential for anemia).

Travis gives me a hard time occasionally about me sleeping so much, but I just don't think he gets it. He's just noticing that, when he's awake and wanting to do something, I'm sleeping or tired and moody. If I'm still super tired in a couple weeks and he's still frustrated by my sleeping, we'll have to talk it out. I'm not terribly worried about that part.

2) My dad's 69th birthday is tomorrow (April 4). That means I have to stop dodging his calls and make actual contact.

As I mentioned in January, Dad and I don't have a great relationship. Being only 12, 13, or 14 years old and yet the more mature one in the relationship wore down my patience for him. Having him question whether I was truthful when I said I loved him at the end of a phone conversation a couple years ago was my breaking point, making me not want to deal with him at all.

Unfortunately, my mom's boyfriend is like a nagging little birdy, reminding me that my dad wants to talk to me and telling me how Dad has changed for the better**. So, on the off chance that Mom's boyfriend is right, I suppose I need to put on my big girl panties and try talking to Dad again. Wishing him a happy birthday is probably a good place to start.

Gosh! I have to pay bills, go to appointments, work hard, take all my pills, AND deal with my Dad. Being a grown up is such a pain in my saggy butt. ;)



**I still wish someone would tell me who gave them permission to be friends now. lol What happened?!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

At a loss--hair loss!

There's no more denying it: I'm into the hair-loss phase and I'm not happy about it!

Over the last week, I've begun to have more hair left on my hair-bobs when I take them out. Today, I was brushing my hair after my shower and there was SO much that came out. :(

This is a pretty common thing for weight loss surgery patients, because we have two big stressers: a major surgery and fast weight loss. Both created lots of stress on our bodies. Plus, hair is all protein. If protein is needed elsewhere in the body, it'll be diverted from going to a non-essential area, like hair, and directed to muscles and such. This may be common in WLS patients, but I not like it!

Hair loss can also be an issue malnourishment--maybe not getting enough of a certain vitamin or maybe the protein intake is really that low.

If the hair loss is due to stressers, there's nothing I can do and the loss will resolve itself eventually (hopefully before I look like Mrs. Clean!). However, if it's a nourishment issue, I could do something. Since I don't know which is the problem, I'm going to treat the one I can.

First, I've increased my protein to at least 80 grams per day, which is up from 60 recommending by my Nutritionist. That reduces my ability to take in veggies (little tummies only hold so much), but I can drink V8 if need be to get that in. Secondly, I'm being diligent about my vitamins. I have struggled with those pills and the crazy scheduling I have to do to get them all in, but the time has come to give it my best effort. Third, I lightly massage my scalp twice a day to increase blood flow, which can aid growth. Hopefully, the combination of these three will make a difference.

I feel petty for freaking out about this, but I like my hair, damn it!