I've lost 0.7 lbs since yesterday at this time. Whoa. This-THIS-is why I had to delay my wedding. Okay, that wasn't the only reason for the delay, but a valid part of it. How does one get a dress fitted when things change so much from day to day?!
My engagement ring doesn't even fit anymore. It slips right off.
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Here's the truth: I feel like I'm cheating. Cheating has never been something I am/was comfortable with, so this is bothering me quite a bit.
People tell me I'm doing a good job or that they can really tell I'm working hard. Problem is, I don't feel that way. It's hard for me to take the compliment when I feel like my surgery is doing all the work and I'm benefiting.
I know, on an intellectual level, that I am working hard too. It would be easy to disregard what the nutritionist and the surgeon have told me and eat all the yummy, but not good for me stuff that I want. I could eat more than recommended, until I'm emotionally sated, because my system is set up to not absorb most of it, allowing me the benefit of weight loss and the ability to eat mostly what I want. I'm not doing any of that though.
I'm being conscious of everything I put in my body and about its benefit--carefully weighing portions and choosing items that are high in protein and low in fat and sugar. All this planning, weighing, food diaries are work; lots of work. Even with all that, the 22 lb weight loss in a couple weeks still seems too easy and I feel like a fraud or a cheat.
Guess that's something to throw at the shrink, huh?
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