People think that WLS is easy because you can't eat as much. Ah, no, that isn't the case. I can over eat. Tonight, I did just that and I am suffering.

That's the difference between non-surgery and surgery. Before my surgery, if I ate more than what I should, I may have just felt guilty or I may not have if I was mindlessly eating. Post-op, over eating is physically painful and not for just a half hour or something. No, it can hurt for HOURS. I feel like there's a heavy, large rock in upper abdomen (my new, little stomach).

There are three options for what my body will do with the food if there's too much in my stomach: 1) I may suddenly vomit. 2) I may suddenly have a bout of diarrhea**. 3) It will ever so slowly process the food, only allowing a little out of my over-full stomach at a time, prolonging my suffering.

Seems like #3 is going to be tonight's option, though I do keep getting hit with a little nausea.

I know why over ate and knowing triggers is part of preventing future issues, right? My problem was that I'd been so busy tonight at work that, when I finally got to eat, I was still racing. I ate too fast and there wasn't enough time for my stomach to tell my brain I was full before I too much.

I'm usually pretty good about not over eating, but it happens. When it does, my only option is to wait. So, that's what I'm going to do: wait to feel better.


**It was not intentional to make a sentence about diarrhea number two in my list, but still funny in a "I'm mentally a 12 year old" kind of way.

5 AM and no calories left!

I've been so food obsessive today that I only have enough calories to have my two protein shakes between now and midnight tonight! It's five o'clock in the morning.

I'll actually be over 40 calories if that's all I have the rest of today, but I'll still be short on protein. Grrr!

If I were allowed more than 800 calories a day, what I ate wouldn't be so bad:
1/2 cup of cream corn
2.25 oz of tuna salad with lite mayo
1 serving of 13 Wheat Thins Fiber Select crackers
1 medium banana
1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter

So, my options are: A) be short on protein and only slightly over on calories (and be convinced I'll starve by the time midnight rolls around), or B) eat something high in protein tonight and increase the number of calories I'm over my allowed 800 per day.

I think I'll try to go with just the shakes after I wake up for work tonight, but I'll plan ahead and bring food in case I feel really hungry.



The root of the problem was several instances of poor planning and boredom.

1. I didn't bring food to my mom's place when I was doing laundry, so I had to search through her cupboards to find something within my food limits when I was really hungry around 1:30 AM. That lead to the cream corn.
2. I was home around 3 AM and was hungry again, so I had the tuna salad and too many Wheat Thins. <--I chose not to count out how many I wanted to eat and ended up having a full serving, instead of half. 3. Around 4:30 AM, there was a banana I found on the counter just about to go bad and oh how I love bananas and peanut butter. Well, I couldn't let that banana go bad! Being bored aided the decision to eat the 100 calorie banana and 100 calories tbsp of peanut butter--together, those two items are 25% of my daily calories. 4. Finally, I hadn't plugged my two required shakes into my food diary yet, so I didn't realize how few calories I had left for my meals. All preventable issues. I'm annoyed and frustrated with myself, but I'm going to look at this as a flub. I messed up and it will make me vigilant of my calorie usage in the future. These things happen and berating myself isn't going to fix anything. Learn and move forward, that's what I try to do. ETA:
It's 8:15 PM and I'm doing okay on just the shakes (so far). I have a string cheese in my lunch bag if things get dire--you know, like I begin to feel as if I could gnaw someone's arm off because I'm so hungry. I work in a hospital with sick people. I don't want to be gnawing on anybody here. Eeew!

I have nothing to do tonight at work other than wait for patients. All my other jobs are done, so I figure now's a good time to do an update...

I've officially lost 86.2 lbs, weighing in at 230.8 lbs! Also, I bought new scrubs in XL, thinking they'd be slightly too small yet, but I'd have them ready for the time they'd fit. Turns out, they already fit and I look fabulous. I'm wearing them tonight.

When I tried them on last night and I realized that I'm down to an XL from a 4XL (nearly a 5XL), I did an honest to goodness happy-dance. There was some major booty shaking.