6 Month Post-Op Appt Ramble

My six month surg-iversary was on Friday, June 15. Yay! :)

Had a visit with my Internal Med guy, Dr. H, for my 6 month follow up. He was happy with my weight loss progress. By his record--which I argue with--I have lost 75 pounds since surgery. I maintain it is 83 pounds! Discrepancies aside, that's still pretty good for a 6 month loss.

My cholesterol and other such important labs were good. I'm to continue as usual with vitamins and eating well.

My thyroid was off (meaning, I'm not getting enough med), but, honestly, that's not surprising. I take that when I take my anxiety med in the morning. I've missed several doses of the anxiety med because it makes me drowsy and I remembered to take it too late. If I did take it late, I'd be very tired and that's hard when working in an emergency room, even as non-patient care staff.

I switch to a regular, 9-5 office job on Monday. At that time, I think I'll be in a better place to schedule pills and meals. Well, I hope so, since that was the whole reason I took the job.

I'm still tired all the time, but that's due to having only 1,000 calories a day (per nutritionist, and just for now) and because I keep missing those anxiety meds. I'm having tired withdrawal symptoms, as Dr. H explained to me at our last appointment.

Per that previous conversation, we opted to move me off of my current anxiety med, Paxil, to a new one (don't remember the name). I take both for the next week and then drop Paxil completely. It will be soooo nice not having that pill add to my constant feeling of tired!

Prior to and after my surgery, no one told me how much weight I should lose in what time frame. I never knew if I was on the right track, going too slow, going too fast, etc. Dr. H actually told me what he expects of me in the next six months. I'm happy about that. I like having a goal/plan.

He said that my weight loss will slow, which it already has, now that I am further away from my surgery and getting more calories than I was initially. He said walking is excellent, but my metabolism is going to need a boost at this point, so I should do some cardio exercise 2x a week.

Also, he said that another 75 (83!) pound loss by the one-year surg-iversary is not expected, nor a healthy goal. He feels a 25 pound loss in that time frame (6 more months) would be safe and attainable. That's approximately 1 pound a week. I plan to try to do 2 pounds a week, but, over all, I'm going to be happy as long as I make the 25 lb mark. Anything greater is a bonus!

"Maybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress." ~ Michelle Burford

So far, my car has broken down and I accidentally sliced off part of my left pinky fingernail while shaving my legs (my lack of coordination is legendary). I'm kind of afraid to touch or do anything today for fear of what else might happen.

On a happier note, I am just two days away from my six month post op surg-iversary! Goodness, six months sounds so much longer than it has felt.

I'm still learning about myself emotionally, how to handle my Frankensteined system, and discovering long hidden body parts (guess what! I found a collar bone the other day and felt a hip bone last week!). I think most of that will be a life long process and I welcome it. Bet life gets boring if you figure it all out.

Six months ago, I wouldn't have even imagined that, today, I would be less than two weeks from starting a new job--and a daytime job at that. I wouldn't have had any idea that I would lose 83 pounds between then and now. Finally, surprise!, I can--and enjoy--walking two miles, when I hated walking to the mail box six months ago.

Life really is a roller coaster. Who knows what is around the next bend? I'm looking forward to finding out when I get there.

People think that WLS is easy because you can't eat as much. Ah, no, that isn't the case. I can over eat. Tonight, I did just that and I am suffering.

That's the difference between non-surgery and surgery. Before my surgery, if I ate more than what I should, I may have just felt guilty or I may not have if I was mindlessly eating. Post-op, over eating is physically painful and not for just a half hour or something. No, it can hurt for HOURS. I feel like there's a heavy, large rock in upper abdomen (my new, little stomach).

There are three options for what my body will do with the food if there's too much in my stomach: 1) I may suddenly vomit. 2) I may suddenly have a bout of diarrhea**. 3) It will ever so slowly process the food, only allowing a little out of my over-full stomach at a time, prolonging my suffering.

Seems like #3 is going to be tonight's option, though I do keep getting hit with a little nausea.

I know why over ate and knowing triggers is part of preventing future issues, right? My problem was that I'd been so busy tonight at work that, when I finally got to eat, I was still racing. I ate too fast and there wasn't enough time for my stomach to tell my brain I was full before I too much.

I'm usually pretty good about not over eating, but it happens. When it does, my only option is to wait. So, that's what I'm going to do: wait to feel better.


**It was not intentional to make a sentence about diarrhea number two in my list, but still funny in a "I'm mentally a 12 year old" kind of way.

At a loss--hair loss!

There's no more denying it: I'm into the hair-loss phase and I'm not happy about it!

Over the last week, I've begun to have more hair left on my hair-bobs when I take them out. Today, I was brushing my hair after my shower and there was SO much that came out. :(

This is a pretty common thing for weight loss surgery patients, because we have two big stressers: a major surgery and fast weight loss. Both created lots of stress on our bodies. Plus, hair is all protein. If protein is needed elsewhere in the body, it'll be diverted from going to a non-essential area, like hair, and directed to muscles and such. This may be common in WLS patients, but I not like it!

Hair loss can also be an issue malnourishment--maybe not getting enough of a certain vitamin or maybe the protein intake is really that low.

If the hair loss is due to stressers, there's nothing I can do and the loss will resolve itself eventually (hopefully before I look like Mrs. Clean!). However, if it's a nourishment issue, I could do something. Since I don't know which is the problem, I'm going to treat the one I can.

First, I've increased my protein to at least 80 grams per day, which is up from 60 recommending by my Nutritionist. That reduces my ability to take in veggies (little tummies only hold so much), but I can drink V8 if need be to get that in. Secondly, I'm being diligent about my vitamins. I have struggled with those pills and the crazy scheduling I have to do to get them all in, but the time has come to give it my best effort. Third, I lightly massage my scalp twice a day to increase blood flow, which can aid growth. Hopefully, the combination of these three will make a difference.

I feel petty for freaking out about this, but I like my hair, damn it!

Changing sizes, changing style

I bought a size 20 pair of jeans from Fashion Bug's online store, figuring that, if they were still too small, they wouldn't be for long. I knew I was getting close to a 20, but not sure if I was quite there yet. Previously, I bought jeans that fit well and a week later they started to be too big, so I

So, the jeans arrived. I can squeeze my butt into them! It's tight, but not unbearable.

I wear a size 20! *happy dance* This time last year, I was wearing a 30.


I'm little flashier in my appearance and willing to wear clothes that may be a little smaller, rather than defaulting to muted and too big to hide my body. I'm still far into the obese BMIs(mine is currently 44.4 and the high end of the overweight BMI is 29.9), but still more comfortable with my body than I use to be. It's very obvious to me now that those clothes that were too big were just making me look bigger--they hid nothing.

I can see the flashiness showing in my new earring obsession. I had to buy a new jewelry holder today to handle my mass of acquired earrings. Also, I have a lot more bright, bold hair accessories (flower clips, etc.). My shirts are colors beyond darker shades of blue. My work scrubs are slimmer fitting and bold patters. I wear make up often now. It all adds up because I'm more confident and that confidence shows in my outward appearance.

I even posted on facebook for my friends to tell me if they're planning a party this summer so I have an excuse to buy a cute new dress. Trust me, dresses were not something I liked to wear before. My big arms and big calves were on display in a dress and, therefore, I wasn't wearing one. My arms are still big now (mostly, it's looser skin) and my calves are still kind of big, but I don't care. I know I look and feel so much better than I did before and I want to wear something as cute as I am, damn it! :D

Taking control of my life a year ago by making the decision to have bariatric surgery and to be mindful of my eating habits has translated into mindful living. I may have to plan and track a lot of my life, but it also makes me notice other parts, just like what I've described above. Mindful living has had a positive impact in all aspects of my life and I'm grateful for that.

What a difference a year makes!

I'm a day early, but we're going to call it close enough: One year ago, I met with my primary care provider (my PCP) to discuss being referred to a bariatric surgeon. So much has happened since then. In no particular order, here's a sampling of my last year:


**Went to (if I remember right) 26 pre-op appointments: 11 group therapies, 2 individual therapy appts, 1 exercise physiologist appt, 2 neuropsychologist appts, 4 surgeon appts, 4 nutritionist appts, 2 internal medicine appts

**Gone to 6 post-op appointments so far: 3 surgeon appts, 2 nutritionist appts, 1 group therapy

**Survived multiple Christmas celebrations while eating only a couple ounces of pureed foods.

**Have lost 60 pounds, post-op.

**Found that learning to eat post-op was a full time job for the first couple weeks.

**Allowed my picture to be taken.

**Bought a pedometer.

**Wore dresses, by my choice.

**Stayed in the hospital for five days and four nights, which was the first hospital stay since I was a toddler.

**Began swimming again and I love it.

**Joined a gym.

**Tried an exercise video.

**Involuntarily vomited after eating.

**Learned to listen to my body about whether it's hungry, how hungry it really is, and, if it's not hungry, why my brain wants me to eat.

**Started a blog.

**Considered taking a trip that involved a plane...and those dreaded plane seats.

**Had a barium swallow (bring a toothbrush and paste if you're going to have one!)

**Had my stomach tickled from the inside.

**Wore a size 30, 28, 26, 24, and 22.

**Found that people think that what I write is interesting.

**Received my first stitch.

**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.

**Gained 8 lbs of those pre-op pounds back (before surgery).

**Began making conscious food choices, instead of mindless choices.

**Smiled more.

**Had a serious case of cabin fever.

**My tummy turned purple, like a blueberry, from Heprin bruises.

**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.

**Amazed myself with my new-found ambition.

**Started walking.

**Walked more than 11,000 steps in a day.

**Nearly got rid of all my asthma issues.

**Stopped squeaking when I sleep.

**Realized that struggles don't have to be a totally private fight.

**Made some great friends.

**Tucked my shirt in without cringing at the view in the mirror.

**Had less back pain.

**Picked up heavy things that I would have had Travis take care of in the past.

**Learned how to cook a little.

**Moved my body more.

**Crossed my legs without realizing it.

**Loaded up tons of clothes that are too big.

**Enjoyed food without inhaling it.

**Realized that I do, in fact, have a collar bone.

**Found out that it's very hard to find an adult liquid pain reliever.

**Admitted that it was hard to give up my "big" clothes, because I'm afraid I'll gain the weight back.

**Took 3 months and 60 pounds, post op, for ME to truly be able to see the lost weight, but it has finally happened.

**Began drawing again.

**Bought an iPod for working out and walking.

**Physical movements became easier.

**My feet became skinnier.

**Had to give up wearing my engagement ring, when it became way too big.

**Lost a good portion of my double chin.

Walking doesn't suck. Who knew?

Last week, I bought a Fitbit. It's a pedometer that tracks steps, flights of stairs, your activity level by the minute, and your sleep quality. It's quite the little contraption.

I purchased it because I needed something to challenge myself with and to help me change my old attitude toward walking. I'm not competitive with out people, because I've never been at a fitness level where it was even possible to consider being able to beat someone athletically, but I can be very competitive with myself. With the Fitbit, each day, I try to walk just a little further or go up another flight of steps.

Yesterday, I had an excellent day, exercise/walking-wise.

I didn't get up until noon-ish and sat on my butt until about 4 PM. Then, I drug my fiance to the local park and we walked quite a ways (for us, anyway), looking at the animals. Travis actually wanted to turn and head back to the car before I did. That's never happened before!! Between walking and gawking at the animals, I'd say we were out about an hour.

Then, I headed to Mom's to do laundry--yep, I'm 32 and still do laundry at my moms. :P While her clothes were finishing, before mine went in, we decided to go for a short walk. The walk probably took 20-25 minutes. There was 30 minutes left on the dryer load when we left and it wasn't quite finished when we arrived back at the house.

Keeping in mind that, between the time I woke up and when I left for the park I probably had less than 1,000 steps in, I'd say hitting over 10,000 steps was an excellent achievement! My total distance was 10,582 steps by midnight, which equals 4.01 miles with my stride length. At least 2.5 would have been from walking with Travis and Mom.

That's the most steps I've had in a day since buying my Fitbit. The fact I don't hurt from all the walking shows me how far I've come with getting fit and that I could have gone further. I'm tired, because that's more exercise than I normally get in a day, but it certainly wasn't my limit.

Prior to my weight loss, walking was painful, boring, and hard to do for more than a short while. Unfortunately, I have had a hard time losing that opinion since losing nearly 80 pounds. It's no longer hard or painful. Yeah, if I'm alone, it's still boring, but that's where my iPod comes in, right?

Right now, I'm excited about how far I walked and how easy it was. In a couple days, I may fall back into that old attitude. I felt that way for so long that it creeps back in and erases that enthusiasm easily.

Maybe that should be my self-assigned homework to work on getting rid of the old, hateful attitude toward walking and exercise. Exercise and walk often enough that the enthusiasm doesn't have time to be erased.