My nutritionist gave me the okay to eat raw veggies! I'm so excited! It gets hard eating pretty much just protein every day. I like variety.

I've been craving a salad since my surgery four and a half months ago. So, that's what I had tonight--cottage cheese, lettuce, grape tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, and Kraft Zesty Italian Lite dressing. Yum! The cool part was that the whole salad, including the cottage cheese and dressing came to 51 calories (I eat small. lol).

The Nutritionist reviewed a few days worth of my food diaries and told me I'm doing great. She approves of what I'm eating completely. That was a relief, because I always worry about that.

She said I should continue as I am, though I can go as high as 1000 calories a day, instead of 800. I'm going to try to stick to 900 or less for now though. I can also have up to 6 oz at a time, instead of 4 oz. I think I'll play that by ear, depending on what I am eating and it's nutritional content.

In all, it was a great visit. I'm very happy with the outcome.

5 AM and no calories left!

I've been so food obsessive today that I only have enough calories to have my two protein shakes between now and midnight tonight! It's five o'clock in the morning.

I'll actually be over 40 calories if that's all I have the rest of today, but I'll still be short on protein. Grrr!

If I were allowed more than 800 calories a day, what I ate wouldn't be so bad:
1/2 cup of cream corn
2.25 oz of tuna salad with lite mayo
1 serving of 13 Wheat Thins Fiber Select crackers
1 medium banana
1 tbsp Smucker's Natural Peanut Butter

So, my options are: A) be short on protein and only slightly over on calories (and be convinced I'll starve by the time midnight rolls around), or B) eat something high in protein tonight and increase the number of calories I'm over my allowed 800 per day.

I think I'll try to go with just the shakes after I wake up for work tonight, but I'll plan ahead and bring food in case I feel really hungry.



The root of the problem was several instances of poor planning and boredom.

1. I didn't bring food to my mom's place when I was doing laundry, so I had to search through her cupboards to find something within my food limits when I was really hungry around 1:30 AM. That lead to the cream corn.
2. I was home around 3 AM and was hungry again, so I had the tuna salad and too many Wheat Thins. <--I chose not to count out how many I wanted to eat and ended up having a full serving, instead of half. 3. Around 4:30 AM, there was a banana I found on the counter just about to go bad and oh how I love bananas and peanut butter. Well, I couldn't let that banana go bad! Being bored aided the decision to eat the 100 calorie banana and 100 calories tbsp of peanut butter--together, those two items are 25% of my daily calories. 4. Finally, I hadn't plugged my two required shakes into my food diary yet, so I didn't realize how few calories I had left for my meals. All preventable issues. I'm annoyed and frustrated with myself, but I'm going to look at this as a flub. I messed up and it will make me vigilant of my calorie usage in the future. These things happen and berating myself isn't going to fix anything. Learn and move forward, that's what I try to do. ETA:
It's 8:15 PM and I'm doing okay on just the shakes (so far). I have a string cheese in my lunch bag if things get dire--you know, like I begin to feel as if I could gnaw someone's arm off because I'm so hungry. I work in a hospital with sick people. I don't want to be gnawing on anybody here. Eeew!

I have nothing to do tonight at work other than wait for patients. All my other jobs are done, so I figure now's a good time to do an update...

I've officially lost 86.2 lbs, weighing in at 230.8 lbs! Also, I bought new scrubs in XL, thinking they'd be slightly too small yet, but I'd have them ready for the time they'd fit. Turns out, they already fit and I look fabulous. I'm wearing them tonight.

When I tried them on last night and I realized that I'm down to an XL from a 4XL (nearly a 5XL), I did an honest to goodness happy-dance. There was some major booty shaking.

Least favorite subject

One of the few subjects that I loathe to discuss is bowel movements and the resulting product. Plainly stated: I hate poop-talk. Sorry, can't stand it.

However, I'm a grown up, so sometimes it needs to be done. <---another reason why being an adult is overrated, in my opinion. At post op appointments, everyone, from the surgeon to the nutritionist, is interested in bowel movements--"how often?" "any constipation?"

Why am I posting about a subject I dislike? Because I had to break down and buy fiber tablets today. It's a common post-op reality.

The post op diet, at least the stage I am at, is focused primarily on getting protein in. All that protein-heavy food takes away space from fiber-rich foods. Plus, I'm not yet okayed to eat raw veggies, so that's another source I cannot access. Most days, I get between 4 and 7 grams. On a really good day, when I've been able to have a can of V8, I can get in around 10 grams of fiber. I should get AT LEAST twice that for optimum "regularity".

Truthfully, I'm tired of feeling bloated and digestively unhappy--unhappy enough to write about it! So, I decided to buck up and buy Fiber Choice sugar-free fiber tablets.

I've been good about taking my vitamins and prescribed pills lately. Now that I have a handle on those, a couple extra pills a day shouldn't mess me up...hopefully.

I have a hideous track record when it comes to consistently taking my pills. But, I'm growing as a person, as my body shrinks up. I'm more mindful of what needs to be done in my life and I'm doing a pretty good job of getting most of those things accomplished or, at least, started.

A Tale From A Post-Op, Novice Cook

Splenda. I'm not a great fan, but it'll do in a pinch (like when it's free at work and I need a sweetener). Tonight, the pinch was my royally silly attempt at reducing the spicy-factor of the chili I made and brought for dinner.

A coworker told me to use sugar to reduce the spiciness. I can't have sugar. We debated back and forth about whether Splenda would work. Finally, I decided to throw caution to the wind, since it was a whopping 3.5 oz container of chili that I had in the fridge, so it wouldn't be a huge loss.

The result? A very sweet, slightly less spicy bowl of "eh". It wasn't great. It wasn't horrible. It was just an amusing example of the strange things we Healthy Journey-ists (WLSers and non, alike) will do to have good taste and stay on track

At a loss--hair loss!

There's no more denying it: I'm into the hair-loss phase and I'm not happy about it!

Over the last week, I've begun to have more hair left on my hair-bobs when I take them out. Today, I was brushing my hair after my shower and there was SO much that came out. :(

This is a pretty common thing for weight loss surgery patients, because we have two big stressers: a major surgery and fast weight loss. Both created lots of stress on our bodies. Plus, hair is all protein. If protein is needed elsewhere in the body, it'll be diverted from going to a non-essential area, like hair, and directed to muscles and such. This may be common in WLS patients, but I not like it!

Hair loss can also be an issue malnourishment--maybe not getting enough of a certain vitamin or maybe the protein intake is really that low.

If the hair loss is due to stressers, there's nothing I can do and the loss will resolve itself eventually (hopefully before I look like Mrs. Clean!). However, if it's a nourishment issue, I could do something. Since I don't know which is the problem, I'm going to treat the one I can.

First, I've increased my protein to at least 80 grams per day, which is up from 60 recommending by my Nutritionist. That reduces my ability to take in veggies (little tummies only hold so much), but I can drink V8 if need be to get that in. Secondly, I'm being diligent about my vitamins. I have struggled with those pills and the crazy scheduling I have to do to get them all in, but the time has come to give it my best effort. Third, I lightly massage my scalp twice a day to increase blood flow, which can aid growth. Hopefully, the combination of these three will make a difference.

I feel petty for freaking out about this, but I like my hair, damn it!

What a difference a year makes!

I'm a day early, but we're going to call it close enough: One year ago, I met with my primary care provider (my PCP) to discuss being referred to a bariatric surgeon. So much has happened since then. In no particular order, here's a sampling of my last year:


**Went to (if I remember right) 26 pre-op appointments: 11 group therapies, 2 individual therapy appts, 1 exercise physiologist appt, 2 neuropsychologist appts, 4 surgeon appts, 4 nutritionist appts, 2 internal medicine appts

**Gone to 6 post-op appointments so far: 3 surgeon appts, 2 nutritionist appts, 1 group therapy

**Survived multiple Christmas celebrations while eating only a couple ounces of pureed foods.

**Have lost 60 pounds, post-op.

**Found that learning to eat post-op was a full time job for the first couple weeks.

**Allowed my picture to be taken.

**Bought a pedometer.

**Wore dresses, by my choice.

**Stayed in the hospital for five days and four nights, which was the first hospital stay since I was a toddler.

**Began swimming again and I love it.

**Joined a gym.

**Tried an exercise video.

**Involuntarily vomited after eating.

**Learned to listen to my body about whether it's hungry, how hungry it really is, and, if it's not hungry, why my brain wants me to eat.

**Started a blog.

**Considered taking a trip that involved a plane...and those dreaded plane seats.

**Had a barium swallow (bring a toothbrush and paste if you're going to have one!)

**Had my stomach tickled from the inside.

**Wore a size 30, 28, 26, 24, and 22.

**Found that people think that what I write is interesting.

**Received my first stitch.

**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.

**Gained 8 lbs of those pre-op pounds back (before surgery).

**Began making conscious food choices, instead of mindless choices.

**Smiled more.

**Had a serious case of cabin fever.

**My tummy turned purple, like a blueberry, from Heprin bruises.

**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.

**Amazed myself with my new-found ambition.

**Started walking.

**Walked more than 11,000 steps in a day.

**Nearly got rid of all my asthma issues.

**Stopped squeaking when I sleep.

**Realized that struggles don't have to be a totally private fight.

**Made some great friends.

**Tucked my shirt in without cringing at the view in the mirror.

**Had less back pain.

**Picked up heavy things that I would have had Travis take care of in the past.

**Learned how to cook a little.

**Moved my body more.

**Crossed my legs without realizing it.

**Loaded up tons of clothes that are too big.

**Enjoyed food without inhaling it.

**Realized that I do, in fact, have a collar bone.

**Found out that it's very hard to find an adult liquid pain reliever.

**Admitted that it was hard to give up my "big" clothes, because I'm afraid I'll gain the weight back.

**Took 3 months and 60 pounds, post op, for ME to truly be able to see the lost weight, but it has finally happened.

**Began drawing again.

**Bought an iPod for working out and walking.

**Physical movements became easier.

**My feet became skinnier.

**Had to give up wearing my engagement ring, when it became way too big.

**Lost a good portion of my double chin.

Depo Difficulties

The day after tomorrow (March 24), I am due to get my next birth control shot. I'm a little torn on how excited I am about this.

On the plus side, it will hopefully FINALLY stop my period. This is my third shot. One would hope that, after three, the beast would be tamed.

I'm on week number two, right now, of having my period (not just spotting!) while on a birth control that is famous for getting rid of a woman's period. I'm so beyond special. I'm praying this next shot makes me a little less special. Sometimes, it's good to be average. :)

On the negative side, for a week after I get it, I will want to eat everything in sight, whether I'm hungry or not.

Lately, I've been fighting the compulsion to eat anyway. I'll admit I've been over my calories a few times this last week. I haven't eaten bad things, just too often. That's though to fight without the BC shot egging me on. But, I've found that these cravings or compulsions come and go. I'll just have to get my self psyched up to fight them. It so nice out that I'll have to make myself go for a walk or something.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, right? So, I'm planning to keep active in some way shape or form. I'll walk, I have a new Wii exercise game that I can play (though I'm a little scared after I hurt my shoulder playing Wii tennis. Sad, right? LOL), and I have my Kindle loaded with good books. My new motto should be "Do."

Schnapps-like protein shakes?! Yes, please!

I can't drink. Well, I could, but I'd be loaded really quick, as my surgery has changed my absorption of alcohols.

I can't tell you how much I miss Peppermint Schnapps**, so imagine my joy when I opened my big new bottle of DaVinci Gourmet Sugar Free Peppermint Syrup and realized it smells just like my beloved schnapps! Who's protein shakes are going to taste like fun (fun that won't give me alcohol poisoning)?! That's right, mine!


ETA: I accidentally used too much the first time I put this in my protein shake. Waaaaay too sweet. Today's shake is a much better success. My Carnation shakes are chocolate and I added a half pump of peppermint, adding just a hint of flavor. Yummy chocolate peppermint.

**I'm not an alcoholic, I swear! I rarely drank before my surgery, but, when I did go out with friends, I always started off with a yummy Peppermint Schnapps shot.

Bananas: devil food or yummy fruit?

I just ate part of a banana. Will it stay in my stomach nicely or will it make me sick? This is just one of the many thrilling adventures I have with food as a RNY post-op patient. Oh, the excitement of the unknown!

The last time I had a banana, it didn't end positively. I figure that it has too much sugar. Took me a long time to decide to try again, but I need to do it. My system can handle more now than it could even a month ago. Plus, I'd hate to live without bananas for ever. They're yummy little yellow tubes of goodness.

Edited to add: It stayed down!

Pepsi wishes and pizza dreams

I dreamed that I was eating pizza and it was such a vivid dream. Now, more than anything, I want pizza with a thick crust and lots of cheese. Ugh!

That would send my frankensteined stomach into a world of hurt (all that doughy goodness), but it sure sounds good.

First post-op road trip

On Sunday, I had my first road trip since my surgery. I totally forgot how food-centered my family's trips are. It was tough not to eat the whole way there and back.

Mom's boyfriend had a triple heart bypass in August. On Friday, two of those bypasses failed. We drove over to The Cities (St. Paul, MN), a nearly two hour drive, to pick up the boyfriend from the Veteran's Hospital.

I intentionally brought my protein shake and some Greek yogurt, but we hit a gas station on the way out of my hometown for snacks. I did good (I think), because I kept it to beef jerky, which was under my fat and sugar restrictions and high in protein. While that's good, I'm pretty sure I ate too much of it.

On the way home, the boyfriend wanted to stop at McDonald's. Quite a heart healthy meal for the cardiac patient. *rolls eyes*. That left me sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and watching them eat, because there's nothing at that restaurant that is under 3 fat grams and under 12 grams of sugar--salads don't count because I can't eat raw veggies.

However, it was funny that the stop reminded me of my McDonald's fantasies right after my surgery, when my pureed diet was killing my morale. I use to fantasize about driving to McDonald's to get a cheeseburger and licking it, so I could taste something yummy and familiar.

Oh, I had an exciting non-scale victory. I bought underwear ("panties" to people with class. :P ) that were 2 sizes smaller than what I bought the last time. How cool is that?!

Shirataki Noodles and other news

On Facebook, I'm in a group for people interested in weight loss foods. Several someones mentioned House Foods Shiritaki Tofu Noodles as a pasta substitute. Hungry Girl uses them in multiple pasta and Asian based recipes. So, I decided to give them a shot.

I decided to make a red Alfredo --left over spaghetti sauce and lite Alfredo mixed--with chicken breast over the noodles. Emphasis was on the chicken breast, since I needed the protein.

Hungry Girl's preparation instructions and tips stated that the noodles odor-ific at first. This really was the case. They smelled like fish. Nothing worse than cat breath after a tuna treat, but still not pleasant. Going along with HG tips, I rinsed the noodles and patted them dry with paper towel (I guess the goal is to remove as much of the smelly water as possible) before microwaving them.

My 4 oz meal ended up being 0.35 oz sauce, 1.25 oz noodles, and 2.4 oz chicken.

My thoughts on the noodles:

~ Their texture is much softer than real pasta, but I'd been warned about that.
~ They got cold quickly. I could have just microwaved my plate to heat it up but I was lazy.
~ It's not the same as pasta, but it sure does the job of fixing a pasta craving, at least in small amounts like I had today.



In other news...

I hit the pool today and spent an hour(!) jogging in the water. I've never spent an hour doing ANY exercise before. Yes, most exercises are easier in the water, because there's less friction, but still...I jogged...for an HOUR. :D

Edited to add (2/4/12 5:04 AM): Okay, I should expect to be exhausted and in need of tylenold about 12 hours after I water jog for an hour. I don't see that as a bad thing, that the exercise really put my body through the ringer. Just unexpected how tired it made me.

I work this weekend and the pool won't open until after the time I should be home and in bed, sleeping before the next shift. Instead, I'll hit the gym on Sunday morning and spend some much needed time on the elliptical. If I am going to do AIDS Walk Wisconsin this year, I need to do more exercises on dry land. This is a good opportunity.


Spent time with Dr. PeopleSkills, my surgeon, today. Considering this is the first appointment where I didn't have someone with me who could act as a buffer between me and his tactlessness, I think it went well. He did call me "big" again, but only once (that's improvement) and I didn't bludgeon him with the nearest object.

The appointment was a bit pointless though. It was essentially a weigh in and him saying "so, how do you feel?".

"Well, Doctor, I feel like you could have just called and asked me that, saving me time, if not money"

An adventure in trying new foods

Trying a new food today--Arnold's Sandwhich Thins. I can't have bread (too sticky), but I can have toast right now. I haven't had toast yet. A regular sized piece seems like a whole lot of food to me at the moment, so I opted for half a sandwhich thin, toasted.

I cut it in half after toasting, flopped on two pieces of Oscar Meyer Cajun Chicken lunch meat, a sprinkle of mozzarella, and a very small smear of Kraft Lite Mayo and dijon mustard. I made a little sammich with 9 grams of protein and it was yummy!

Now, we wait. Will the expanding toast make me fell yacky? Right now, ten minutes after finishing, I feel fine, but only time will tell. I hope it doesn't bother me.

This is, of course, why the nutritionist and surgeon both say to try new foods at home, not out in public. If my system can't yet tolerate the new food, things good get painful and all vomity. That, as I learned with the Driveway Incident, can be embarassing.

Edited to add: It's been an hour and a half without issues. Yay!!

Recipes: Fix my food boredom?

I'm pretty excited to find recipes that I can actually have now, because I'm getting rather bored with Hormel Turkey Chili, turkey burgers, and tuna salad.

I've been printing out recipes from the blogs I mention previously and some from Food.com that are within my food restrictions and that sound good. I put those recipes in plastic slip sheets inside a binder. I'm 32 and have my first cookbook!

I'm excited about this, since part of this new journey is learning to be responsible for what I put in my body. Mostly, that means being the person who prepares it. That's new for me.

Wednesday mash up

This is a long, rambling post, filled with seemingly unrelated topics. That's just how I roll. Enjoy...

It's a little weird learning to plan meals for Travis and me. Right now, for the most part, we don't eat together. Occasionally, we'll have omelets together, but that's rare. Generally, our diets are just too different. However, I found some chicken breasts and two packets of stir fry veggies in the freezer. I'm thinking that, tomorrow night, we are going to try a real meal together!

The tricky part is that I'm unsure how I'll do with soy sauce. I would think I'm okay, because I've not been given any restrictions on sodium. *shrug* I'll try it. If it makes me nauseated or go all Poltergeist, we'll call it a lesson learned.

Edited to add: Dinner sucked. The two packs of veggies had apparently been in the freezer since the dawn of time and tasted bad when cooked. I was very disappointed.

The other day, I mentioned a blog named The World According to Eggface. Well, Bariatric Foodie is another great blog for getting recipes and advice. I've spent hours scouring through it and there's just so much info and so many things to try. She has these great "WLS Survival Guides" too, that give advice for situations like holiday parties, buffet eating, etc.

Several of the recipes, I'm pretty sure I can make and fool Travis into eating them. I bet he won't even know the difference between the "real" and the modified foods.

Tonight, I wore one of my new, smaller scrub tops. Do you know what most people have been commenting on at work? The fact that I left my hair down! WTH? I wear clothes that make me look 10-15 lbs lighter, instead of one of the sacks I've been wearing, and no one can get past the hair. Makes me almost feel like having Allheart bounce my checking account, neting me $60 in NSFs when they double billed me for my scrubs, wasn't worth it. :P

Thankfully, some people did notice. I even got a "lookin' good, Robyn!"

Eggface recipes

The woman who writes "The World According to Eggface" (a blog) is amazing. She had the same surgery I had, though in 2006. She also loves to cook and she has a blog with many Weight Loss Surgery friendly recipes.

Some of the recipes, I can actually eat now, even though I'm limited on my foods a little. Others, I can dream about making in a couple months. For example...

theworldaccordingtoeggface: Strawberry Cannoli

The great thing about finding recipes is that I can plug them into http://www.myfitnesspal.com and find out how many calories, carbs, protein, etc., is in something. I'm not left to guess and assume that I can't eat something.

1st Nutritionist Appt/New food plan

Went to see my Nutritionist for the first time since my surgery. She advanced my diet a bit, which I'm both happy about and nervous.

Instead of primarily protein, at the expense of veggies. It was easy to deal with 3 oz of protein, because I could just make something, weigh it, and flop it into a container. Easy-peasy.

Now, I have to plan out three parts of each meal--1 oz protein, 1/4 cup veggies, and 2 tbsp starch. Meh. Complicated.

Also, how the hell do I get enough protein eating the new way? Hmmm? I am required to get 50-60 grams of protein a day, to make sure that, as I lose weight, my body gets rid of fat, not lean muscle.

As I was eating, I'd sometimes get 70 grams, but mostly pretty close to 60. Cutting my protein down by 2/3 each meal is going to make a dent in my protein intake. I can't use a real protein shake (I use Carnation Instant Breakfast) because, when I tried one a couple weeks ago, it made me sick. So, I'm not getting as much as I could from a shake to balance the reduction in food based protein.

I'm sure it'll work out. Just takes some time to learn what and how to do things. I'm not a fan of change, but life is full of it and I'm learning to roll with what's thrown at me.