Couple things going on for me:
1) I'm really tired all the time. I'm generally sleeping between 9 hours when I work and even more on my days off. I've lost 60+ pounds in three and a half months. I expect that to wear me down a little. If my body is stressed or improperly nourished enough to make me lose hair, that'll add to my fatigue, as will the fact that I had my period for three or more weeks (potential for anemia).
Travis gives me a hard time occasionally about me sleeping so much, but I just don't think he gets it. He's just noticing that, when he's awake and wanting to do something, I'm sleeping or tired and moody. If I'm still super tired in a couple weeks and he's still frustrated by my sleeping, we'll have to talk it out. I'm not terribly worried about that part.
2) My dad's 69th birthday is tomorrow (April 4). That means I have to stop dodging his calls and make actual contact.
As I mentioned in January, Dad and I don't have a great relationship. Being only 12, 13, or 14 years old and yet the more mature one in the relationship wore down my patience for him. Having him question whether I was truthful when I said I loved him at the end of a phone conversation a couple years ago was my breaking point, making me not want to deal with him at all.
Unfortunately, my mom's boyfriend is like a nagging little birdy, reminding me that my dad wants to talk to me and telling me how Dad has changed for the better**. So, on the off chance that Mom's boyfriend is right, I suppose I need to put on my big girl panties and try talking to Dad again. Wishing him a happy birthday is probably a good place to start.
Gosh! I have to pay bills, go to appointments, work hard, take all my pills, AND deal with my Dad. Being a grown up is such a pain in my saggy butt. ;)
**I still wish someone would tell me who gave them permission to be friends now. lol What happened?!
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
What a difference a year makes!
I'm a day early, but we're going to call it close enough: One year ago, I met with my primary care provider (my PCP) to discuss being referred to a bariatric surgeon. So much has happened since then. In no particular order, here's a sampling of my last year:
**Went to (if I remember right) 26 pre-op appointments: 11 group therapies, 2 individual therapy appts, 1 exercise physiologist appt, 2 neuropsychologist appts, 4 surgeon appts, 4 nutritionist appts, 2 internal medicine appts
**Gone to 6 post-op appointments so far: 3 surgeon appts, 2 nutritionist appts, 1 group therapy
**Survived multiple Christmas celebrations while eating only a couple ounces of pureed foods.
**Have lost 60 pounds, post-op.
**Found that learning to eat post-op was a full time job for the first couple weeks.
**Allowed my picture to be taken.
**Bought a pedometer.
**Wore dresses, by my choice.
**Stayed in the hospital for five days and four nights, which was the first hospital stay since I was a toddler.
**Began swimming again and I love it.
**Joined a gym.
**Tried an exercise video.
**Involuntarily vomited after eating.
**Learned to listen to my body about whether it's hungry, how hungry it really is, and, if it's not hungry, why my brain wants me to eat.
**Started a blog.
**Considered taking a trip that involved a plane...and those dreaded plane seats.
**Had a barium swallow (bring a toothbrush and paste if you're going to have one!)
**Had my stomach tickled from the inside.
**Wore a size 30, 28, 26, 24, and 22.
**Found that people think that what I write is interesting.
**Received my first stitch.
**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.
**Gained 8 lbs of those pre-op pounds back (before surgery).
**Began making conscious food choices, instead of mindless choices.
**Smiled more.
**Had a serious case of cabin fever.
**My tummy turned purple, like a blueberry, from Heprin bruises.
**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.
**Amazed myself with my new-found ambition.
**Started walking.
**Walked more than 11,000 steps in a day.
**Nearly got rid of all my asthma issues.
**Stopped squeaking when I sleep.
**Realized that struggles don't have to be a totally private fight.
**Made some great friends.
**Tucked my shirt in without cringing at the view in the mirror.
**Had less back pain.
**Picked up heavy things that I would have had Travis take care of in the past.
**Learned how to cook a little.
**Moved my body more.
**Crossed my legs without realizing it.
**Loaded up tons of clothes that are too big.
**Enjoyed food without inhaling it.
**Realized that I do, in fact, have a collar bone.
**Found out that it's very hard to find an adult liquid pain reliever.
**Admitted that it was hard to give up my "big" clothes, because I'm afraid I'll gain the weight back.
**Took 3 months and 60 pounds, post op, for ME to truly be able to see the lost weight, but it has finally happened.
**Began drawing again.
**Bought an iPod for working out and walking.
**Physical movements became easier.
**My feet became skinnier.
**Had to give up wearing my engagement ring, when it became way too big.
**Lost a good portion of my double chin.
**Went to (if I remember right) 26 pre-op appointments: 11 group therapies, 2 individual therapy appts, 1 exercise physiologist appt, 2 neuropsychologist appts, 4 surgeon appts, 4 nutritionist appts, 2 internal medicine appts
**Gone to 6 post-op appointments so far: 3 surgeon appts, 2 nutritionist appts, 1 group therapy
**Survived multiple Christmas celebrations while eating only a couple ounces of pureed foods.
**Have lost 60 pounds, post-op.
**Found that learning to eat post-op was a full time job for the first couple weeks.
**Allowed my picture to be taken.
**Bought a pedometer.
**Wore dresses, by my choice.
**Stayed in the hospital for five days and four nights, which was the first hospital stay since I was a toddler.
**Began swimming again and I love it.
**Joined a gym.
**Tried an exercise video.
**Involuntarily vomited after eating.
**Learned to listen to my body about whether it's hungry, how hungry it really is, and, if it's not hungry, why my brain wants me to eat.
**Started a blog.
**Considered taking a trip that involved a plane...and those dreaded plane seats.
**Had a barium swallow (bring a toothbrush and paste if you're going to have one!)
**Had my stomach tickled from the inside.
**Wore a size 30, 28, 26, 24, and 22.
**Found that people think that what I write is interesting.
**Received my first stitch.
**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.
**Gained 8 lbs of those pre-op pounds back (before surgery).
**Began making conscious food choices, instead of mindless choices.
**Smiled more.
**Had a serious case of cabin fever.
**My tummy turned purple, like a blueberry, from Heprin bruises.
**Lost 28 lbs, pre-op, by tracking what I was eating and making modifications.
**Amazed myself with my new-found ambition.
**Started walking.
**Walked more than 11,000 steps in a day.
**Nearly got rid of all my asthma issues.
**Stopped squeaking when I sleep.
**Realized that struggles don't have to be a totally private fight.
**Made some great friends.
**Tucked my shirt in without cringing at the view in the mirror.
**Had less back pain.
**Picked up heavy things that I would have had Travis take care of in the past.
**Learned how to cook a little.
**Moved my body more.
**Crossed my legs without realizing it.
**Loaded up tons of clothes that are too big.
**Enjoyed food without inhaling it.
**Realized that I do, in fact, have a collar bone.
**Found out that it's very hard to find an adult liquid pain reliever.
**Admitted that it was hard to give up my "big" clothes, because I'm afraid I'll gain the weight back.
**Took 3 months and 60 pounds, post op, for ME to truly be able to see the lost weight, but it has finally happened.
**Began drawing again.
**Bought an iPod for working out and walking.
**Physical movements became easier.
**My feet became skinnier.
**Had to give up wearing my engagement ring, when it became way too big.
**Lost a good portion of my double chin.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
3 months post-op and life's good
Been a good few days...
Thursday, March 15th, was my 3 month surg-iversary. Still no complications, I'm losing weight, and feeling good.
Friday, March 16th, I saw Dr. PeopleSkills for another post-op check up. Must have beed a Stepford or Pod version of him, because he didn't once call me or my stomach "big" and he said I was doing great. Yes, he said something positive! I like Pod Dr. PeopleSkills. :)
Also, Friday night, my mom and I went to see Bill Engvall, the comedian, at Eau Claire's State Theater. Very funny show. We had a great time.
Today, March 17th, I weighed myself at work and found that I've lost more than two pounds, putting me at 77+ pounds lost total. I'd been sitting at just under 75 pounds for a little while and it was so nice to blow past that. Woohoo!
And, just because I like happy thoughts:
Live, because it's more exciting. Laugh, because it's contagious. Love, because it's always worth it!
Thursday, March 15th, was my 3 month surg-iversary. Still no complications, I'm losing weight, and feeling good.
Friday, March 16th, I saw Dr. PeopleSkills for another post-op check up. Must have beed a Stepford or Pod version of him, because he didn't once call me or my stomach "big" and he said I was doing great. Yes, he said something positive! I like Pod Dr. PeopleSkills. :)
Also, Friday night, my mom and I went to see Bill Engvall, the comedian, at Eau Claire's State Theater. Very funny show. We had a great time.
Today, March 17th, I weighed myself at work and found that I've lost more than two pounds, putting me at 77+ pounds lost total. I'd been sitting at just under 75 pounds for a little while and it was so nice to blow past that. Woohoo!
And, just because I like happy thoughts:
Live, because it's more exciting. Laugh, because it's contagious. Love, because it's always worth it!
Monday, March 5, 2012
First post-op road trip
On Sunday, I had my first road trip since my surgery. I totally forgot how food-centered my family's trips are. It was tough not to eat the whole way there and back.
Mom's boyfriend had a triple heart bypass in August. On Friday, two of those bypasses failed. We drove over to The Cities (St. Paul, MN), a nearly two hour drive, to pick up the boyfriend from the Veteran's Hospital.
I intentionally brought my protein shake and some Greek yogurt, but we hit a gas station on the way out of my hometown for snacks. I did good (I think), because I kept it to beef jerky, which was under my fat and sugar restrictions and high in protein. While that's good, I'm pretty sure I ate too much of it.
On the way home, the boyfriend wanted to stop at McDonald's. Quite a heart healthy meal for the cardiac patient. *rolls eyes*. That left me sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and watching them eat, because there's nothing at that restaurant that is under 3 fat grams and under 12 grams of sugar--salads don't count because I can't eat raw veggies.
However, it was funny that the stop reminded me of my McDonald's fantasies right after my surgery, when my pureed diet was killing my morale. I use to fantasize about driving to McDonald's to get a cheeseburger and licking it, so I could taste something yummy and familiar.
Oh, I had an exciting non-scale victory. I bought underwear ("panties" to people with class. :P ) that were 2 sizes smaller than what I bought the last time. How cool is that?!
Mom's boyfriend had a triple heart bypass in August. On Friday, two of those bypasses failed. We drove over to The Cities (St. Paul, MN), a nearly two hour drive, to pick up the boyfriend from the Veteran's Hospital.
I intentionally brought my protein shake and some Greek yogurt, but we hit a gas station on the way out of my hometown for snacks. I did good (I think), because I kept it to beef jerky, which was under my fat and sugar restrictions and high in protein. While that's good, I'm pretty sure I ate too much of it.
On the way home, the boyfriend wanted to stop at McDonald's. Quite a heart healthy meal for the cardiac patient. *rolls eyes*. That left me sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and watching them eat, because there's nothing at that restaurant that is under 3 fat grams and under 12 grams of sugar--salads don't count because I can't eat raw veggies.
However, it was funny that the stop reminded me of my McDonald's fantasies right after my surgery, when my pureed diet was killing my morale. I use to fantasize about driving to McDonald's to get a cheeseburger and licking it, so I could taste something yummy and familiar.
Oh, I had an exciting non-scale victory. I bought underwear ("panties" to people with class. :P ) that were 2 sizes smaller than what I bought the last time. How cool is that?!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Long Time No Post
Wow, long time no post!
I haven't lost any weight in the last week. Holding strong at 248 pounds, which is a 69 lb loss since April 2011. I'm not going to complain about that. I've been slacking in the exercise department, so I figure that's part of it. Plus, an occasional plateau is not unexpected.
I must be losing inches though, because the pants I bought a couple weeks ago are getting too big.
I'm still cold all the time. In fact, I jacked up the heat in my office at work to 75 degrees tonight. It's almost comfortable, though a little cool yet. I could wear a sweatshirt, but I hate wearing them at work. This scrub outfit is too cute to cover up. ;)
We had a big snow storm here in West Central Wisconsin yesterday. I was suppose to work last night, but my coworker offered to switch and I'd work Thursday (tonight) instead, keeping me off the roads until the storm was over and cleaned up.
So, I'm at work tonight. Not a bad place to be, though I'd rather be at home--really, who wouldn't, if given the choice?! The thing is that I seem to be all kinds of sensitive tonight--to smell (oh, people, take a bath!), to noise (whimpering, unnecessarily dramatic, drunk families), and various other irritants that I choose to blame on missing my anxiety meds for a few days.
I was suppose to have an appointment with my Nutritionist tomorrow, but, because I work until 6 AM, had planned to swim after work, and need to sleep before I go on the yearly post-tax return pilgrimage to the casino with family, I was going to be too tired for my appointment, so I rescheduled.
They can't get me in for a month and a half! Seriously, it's a 15-20 minute appointment. She just needs to tell me I am eating okay and whether I can start branching out in food. I keep thinking, "I wonder if my appointment is still open in the morning." Doubt it. *cry*
This isn't a terribly positive post. Sort of whiny, in fact. Sorry about that. I have no doubt that there were positive things that I'd planned on blogging about, but have escaped my mind since then. I'll work on that. :)
I haven't lost any weight in the last week. Holding strong at 248 pounds, which is a 69 lb loss since April 2011. I'm not going to complain about that. I've been slacking in the exercise department, so I figure that's part of it. Plus, an occasional plateau is not unexpected.
I must be losing inches though, because the pants I bought a couple weeks ago are getting too big.
I'm still cold all the time. In fact, I jacked up the heat in my office at work to 75 degrees tonight. It's almost comfortable, though a little cool yet. I could wear a sweatshirt, but I hate wearing them at work. This scrub outfit is too cute to cover up. ;)
We had a big snow storm here in West Central Wisconsin yesterday. I was suppose to work last night, but my coworker offered to switch and I'd work Thursday (tonight) instead, keeping me off the roads until the storm was over and cleaned up.
So, I'm at work tonight. Not a bad place to be, though I'd rather be at home--really, who wouldn't, if given the choice?! The thing is that I seem to be all kinds of sensitive tonight--to smell (oh, people, take a bath!), to noise (whimpering, unnecessarily dramatic, drunk families), and various other irritants that I choose to blame on missing my anxiety meds for a few days.
I was suppose to have an appointment with my Nutritionist tomorrow, but, because I work until 6 AM, had planned to swim after work, and need to sleep before I go on the yearly post-tax return pilgrimage to the casino with family, I was going to be too tired for my appointment, so I rescheduled.
They can't get me in for a month and a half! Seriously, it's a 15-20 minute appointment. She just needs to tell me I am eating okay and whether I can start branching out in food. I keep thinking, "I wonder if my appointment is still open in the morning." Doubt it. *cry*
This isn't a terribly positive post. Sort of whiny, in fact. Sorry about that. I have no doubt that there were positive things that I'd planned on blogging about, but have escaped my mind since then. I'll work on that. :)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Wednesday mash up
This is a long, rambling post, filled with seemingly unrelated topics. That's just how I roll. Enjoy...
It's a little weird learning to plan meals for Travis and me. Right now, for the most part, we don't eat together. Occasionally, we'll have omelets together, but that's rare. Generally, our diets are just too different. However, I found some chicken breasts and two packets of stir fry veggies in the freezer. I'm thinking that, tomorrow night, we are going to try a real meal together!
The tricky part is that I'm unsure how I'll do with soy sauce. I would think I'm okay, because I've not been given any restrictions on sodium. *shrug* I'll try it. If it makes me nauseated or go all Poltergeist, we'll call it a lesson learned.
Edited to add: Dinner sucked. The two packs of veggies had apparently been in the freezer since the dawn of time and tasted bad when cooked. I was very disappointed.
The other day, I mentioned a blog named The World According to Eggface. Well, Bariatric Foodie is another great blog for getting recipes and advice. I've spent hours scouring through it and there's just so much info and so many things to try. She has these great "WLS Survival Guides" too, that give advice for situations like holiday parties, buffet eating, etc.
Several of the recipes, I'm pretty sure I can make and fool Travis into eating them. I bet he won't even know the difference between the "real" and the modified foods.
Tonight, I wore one of my new, smaller scrub tops. Do you know what most people have been commenting on at work? The fact that I left my hair down! WTH? I wear clothes that make me look 10-15 lbs lighter, instead of one of the sacks I've been wearing, and no one can get past the hair. Makes me almost feel like having Allheart bounce my checking account, neting me $60 in NSFs when they double billed me for my scrubs, wasn't worth it. :P
Thankfully, some people did notice. I even got a "lookin' good, Robyn!"
It's a little weird learning to plan meals for Travis and me. Right now, for the most part, we don't eat together. Occasionally, we'll have omelets together, but that's rare. Generally, our diets are just too different. However, I found some chicken breasts and two packets of stir fry veggies in the freezer. I'm thinking that, tomorrow night, we are going to try a real meal together!
The tricky part is that I'm unsure how I'll do with soy sauce. I would think I'm okay, because I've not been given any restrictions on sodium. *shrug* I'll try it. If it makes me nauseated or go all Poltergeist, we'll call it a lesson learned.
Edited to add: Dinner sucked. The two packs of veggies had apparently been in the freezer since the dawn of time and tasted bad when cooked. I was very disappointed.
The other day, I mentioned a blog named The World According to Eggface. Well, Bariatric Foodie is another great blog for getting recipes and advice. I've spent hours scouring through it and there's just so much info and so many things to try. She has these great "WLS Survival Guides" too, that give advice for situations like holiday parties, buffet eating, etc.
Several of the recipes, I'm pretty sure I can make and fool Travis into eating them. I bet he won't even know the difference between the "real" and the modified foods.
Tonight, I wore one of my new, smaller scrub tops. Do you know what most people have been commenting on at work? The fact that I left my hair down! WTH? I wear clothes that make me look 10-15 lbs lighter, instead of one of the sacks I've been wearing, and no one can get past the hair. Makes me almost feel like having Allheart bounce my checking account, neting me $60 in NSFs when they double billed me for my scrubs, wasn't worth it. :P
Thankfully, some people did notice. I even got a "lookin' good, Robyn!"
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