I hear it was nice out

Yesterday was beautiful! ...I hear. I slept through it. :/

I was so tired that I slept more than 12 hours, making me miss the nice weather and not getting in enough protein or water. Now, I'm super thirsty and grumpy about my wasted day off.

First post-op road trip

On Sunday, I had my first road trip since my surgery. I totally forgot how food-centered my family's trips are. It was tough not to eat the whole way there and back.

Mom's boyfriend had a triple heart bypass in August. On Friday, two of those bypasses failed. We drove over to The Cities (St. Paul, MN), a nearly two hour drive, to pick up the boyfriend from the Veteran's Hospital.

I intentionally brought my protein shake and some Greek yogurt, but we hit a gas station on the way out of my hometown for snacks. I did good (I think), because I kept it to beef jerky, which was under my fat and sugar restrictions and high in protein. While that's good, I'm pretty sure I ate too much of it.

On the way home, the boyfriend wanted to stop at McDonald's. Quite a heart healthy meal for the cardiac patient. *rolls eyes*. That left me sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and watching them eat, because there's nothing at that restaurant that is under 3 fat grams and under 12 grams of sugar--salads don't count because I can't eat raw veggies.

However, it was funny that the stop reminded me of my McDonald's fantasies right after my surgery, when my pureed diet was killing my morale. I use to fantasize about driving to McDonald's to get a cheeseburger and licking it, so I could taste something yummy and familiar.

Oh, I had an exciting non-scale victory. I bought underwear ("panties" to people with class. :P ) that were 2 sizes smaller than what I bought the last time. How cool is that?!

More Positive Follow up to "Long time.."

I just posted a couple hours ago, after a 9-10 day hiatus. I felt that post was just "meh". There was nothing positive in it. I don't like that. I may over use sarcasm and bitch about things, but I'm a closet optimist. So, I found some positivity to share...

1st: I've lost 70 pounds since April 1st. That' 50 pounds post op. :D

Okay, okay, I'm actually 0.1 pounds short, but I'm all about rounding! I've been round my whole life. Smaller hips just means I need to round somewhere else.

That's a huge accomplishment to someone trying to get healthy! I'm pretty happy about that. That puts me at nearly 40% of the way to my goal weight. Fiiiiine, it's actually 37.4%, but, remember, I'm a rounder.

Being the crazy cat lady that I am, I compare my weight loss to cat food bags. Essentially, I've lost 4.1 bags of 17 lb Cat Chow when including my pre-op weight loss. Those suckers are heavy and I had four of them on my stomach and ass!

2nd: I just took a break and did some laps inside the building, to try to make up for being such a lazy ass with my exercise. I couldn't believe how fast I was able to walk and how many laps I could do! Wow.

I'd have quit after a couple before I lost the weight. I did several tonight and will probably do several more later. That is also a great feeling and something I'm very happy about.

Long Time No Post

Wow, long time no post!

I haven't lost any weight in the last week. Holding strong at 248 pounds, which is a 69 lb loss since April 2011. I'm not going to complain about that. I've been slacking in the exercise department, so I figure that's part of it. Plus, an occasional plateau is not unexpected.

I must be losing inches though, because the pants I bought a couple weeks ago are getting too big.

I'm still cold all the time. In fact, I jacked up the heat in my office at work to 75 degrees tonight. It's almost comfortable, though a little cool yet. I could wear a sweatshirt, but I hate wearing them at work. This scrub outfit is too cute to cover up. ;)

We had a big snow storm here in West Central Wisconsin yesterday. I was suppose to work last night, but my coworker offered to switch and I'd work Thursday (tonight) instead, keeping me off the roads until the storm was over and cleaned up.

So, I'm at work tonight. Not a bad place to be, though I'd rather be at home--really, who wouldn't, if given the choice?! The thing is that I seem to be all kinds of sensitive tonight--to smell (oh, people, take a bath!), to noise (whimpering, unnecessarily dramatic, drunk families), and various other irritants that I choose to blame on missing my anxiety meds for a few days.

I was suppose to have an appointment with my Nutritionist tomorrow, but, because I work until 6 AM, had planned to swim after work, and need to sleep before I go on the yearly post-tax return pilgrimage to the casino with family, I was going to be too tired for my appointment, so I rescheduled.

They can't get me in for a month and a half! Seriously, it's a 15-20 minute appointment. She just needs to tell me I am eating okay and whether I can start branching out in food. I keep thinking, "I wonder if my appointment is still open in the morning." Doubt it. *cry*

This isn't a terribly positive post. Sort of whiny, in fact. Sorry about that. I have no doubt that there were positive things that I'd planned on blogging about, but have escaped my mind since then. I'll work on that. :)

Surgery Bills

It's just over two months after my surgery. :) Some days it seems like more than that and others it seems so recently.

Also, the other day, I received my bill for my surgery and it looks like my health insurance paid for EVERYTHING! *happy dance* I don't owe a single dime for my surgery or my 4 night/5 day hospital stay.

They snuck me in at the end of the year because we figured I'd met my out of pocket expenses for the year thanks to the ton of pre-op appointments I'd had for the prior 8 months. I only had about a week notice before my surgery because the surgeons rearrainged things to get me in before 2012. The short notice and being a pain in their asses was not a waste. :D

Thyroid pill and weight loss

I can no longer doubt the effect (affect?) that my thyroid has on my metabolism. Nope.

As previously mentioned, I kept forgetting my pills, including the pill to counter-act my underactive thyroid. My weight loss slowed right around the time I'd started missing pills. It went from abou 6-7 pounds lost a week to 3 pounds.

I've started taking my thyroid pill again regularly. I think it's been about five days now--not long, but what a difference it makes! In the last seven days, I've lost five pounds. Heck, since Monday, I've lost 1.8 lbs.

I haven't felt an increase in energy, unfortunately, but that will come. For now, I just want to sleep. I slept an embarassingly long amount of time yesterday, completely wasting my day off.

I'm still cold a lot of the time too, but that's probably a combination of my thyroid and losing weight. A slow thyroid lowers the body temp slightly. Also, I'm use to more insulating fat on my body. It's taking time to adjust.

I haven't been to gym in probably two weeks. My plan is to go in the morning, but I am just so tired. Hopefully, I get past that enough to drag my ass to the pool.

My Meds

Due to my own laziness/apathy/exhaustion, I've been really bad about taking my thyroid pill, anti-anxiety med, and my vitamins. Not taking the thyroid med slows down my system--metabolism, my heart, my body temp, and my mental functions (to a point)--making me more lazy, apathetic, and exhausted. It's a vicious circle.

I've been amazingly good off my anxiety med. Normally, off the med, I am high strung, waiting for something bad to happen. I never know what, but I'm primed and nervous waiting for it to happen. Since going off it, I've been moody (quickly going from happy to annoyed), but my anxiety hasn't been massive. It's there, but not overwhelming.

However, when I told my surgeon that I went off my Paxil because I'm having trouble remembering and splitting it in half to take it was making it foam in my stomach (made me feel awful), he said that right now is not the time to wean myself off. I probably won't need as much later, when I have the extra weight off and life has returned to somewhat normal, but, for now, he'd like me to keep taking it and just to swallow it whole. Fiiiine. lol

Today, I picked up my thyroid refill. I went to Walmart on a Sunday afternoon. God must have felt sorry for me, because, by some miracle, no one made me feel homicidal, which is my usual reaction to going to Walmart (especially when dealing with the pharmacy staff).

I'm determined to get myself back on track with all of my pills, so I took both my Paxil and my thyroid med as soon as I got home. I just had my first meal after midnight and took both of my multivitamins. Next several meals each get a calcium chewable. Nummy. :/

The plan is to make this all very routine. I need to create a habit of taking the multivitamins and the calcium before each meal and my Paxil and Synthroid before bed. Sounds easy enough, right? We shall see!



I'm writing this with a big, two day headache. Please forgive me if it's boring, random, or written poorly. The little man chipping away at my right temple is distracting me from quality writing.

Tonight, I had to call the local Sheriff Department because a member of my pre-op therapy group stated online that he was going to kill himself.

He wants the surgery done, but because of insurance issues, he has to start the whole program over. He thinks that going through the therapy stuff "let out his demons" and his head is now all messed up and he's not doing that again.

His post on our private Facebook group stated directly that he had decided to end his life.

Even prior to tonight's post, it's been obvious that he's in the middle of some serious psychological pain and he needs help. Tonight's post was just the scale tipper that said, "okay, no more telling him he needs to seek help. Now, we send it to him."

Now, the ball is directly in his court. He can use the assistance to get better or he can choose not to help himself. No matter how much help is offered, no one can make that decision for him. *sigh*

I admit, I'm afraid that the other group members will be pissed at me and remove me because I broke confidentiality. However, a FB group does not have the same confidentiality rules as group therapy AND he outright stated he was going to kill himself. I'm sorry, but the threat of self harm takes away the right to privacy. If they toss me from the group, so be it.

Weight and goal updates

I weighed myself today. Down to 259.6 lbs. That means multple things.

1) My BMI is down 11 (points?) since I started losing weight in April. That is excellent. Still very high, but an excellent improvement.

2) I now weigh less than I did when I met Travis, five and a half years ago. Not much less and I do wear it differently, thanks to age and sagging skin from losing so quickly, but I am very happy with this victory none the less.

My next goal is to get my weight down to less than his. Yes, at 5' 2", I weigh more than my 6'1" boyfriend. It's embarassing to admit, but it is the truth. However, I plan to make it untrue very soon. Only 30 pounds (give or take some) until I pass his weight. A couple months, maybe.

My weight since surgery

Post op weights, so far:

12/19/2011 - 301.2 lbs (that included water weight gained from surgery/IVs)
12/26/2011 - 276.3 lbs
01/03/2012 - 273.7 lbs
01/09/2012 - 270.8 lbs
01/14/2012 - 268.6 lbs
01/18/2012 - 267.5 lbs
01/22/2012 - 265.5 lbs
01/30/2012 - 263.1 lbs
02/04/2012 - 261.1 lbs <--- as of today, I've lost 36 lbs post op; 56 lbs total

Shirataki Noodles and other news

On Facebook, I'm in a group for people interested in weight loss foods. Several someones mentioned House Foods Shiritaki Tofu Noodles as a pasta substitute. Hungry Girl uses them in multiple pasta and Asian based recipes. So, I decided to give them a shot.

I decided to make a red Alfredo --left over spaghetti sauce and lite Alfredo mixed--with chicken breast over the noodles. Emphasis was on the chicken breast, since I needed the protein.

Hungry Girl's preparation instructions and tips stated that the noodles odor-ific at first. This really was the case. They smelled like fish. Nothing worse than cat breath after a tuna treat, but still not pleasant. Going along with HG tips, I rinsed the noodles and patted them dry with paper towel (I guess the goal is to remove as much of the smelly water as possible) before microwaving them.

My 4 oz meal ended up being 0.35 oz sauce, 1.25 oz noodles, and 2.4 oz chicken.

My thoughts on the noodles:

~ Their texture is much softer than real pasta, but I'd been warned about that.
~ They got cold quickly. I could have just microwaved my plate to heat it up but I was lazy.
~ It's not the same as pasta, but it sure does the job of fixing a pasta craving, at least in small amounts like I had today.



In other news...

I hit the pool today and spent an hour(!) jogging in the water. I've never spent an hour doing ANY exercise before. Yes, most exercises are easier in the water, because there's less friction, but still...I jogged...for an HOUR. :D

Edited to add (2/4/12 5:04 AM): Okay, I should expect to be exhausted and in need of tylenold about 12 hours after I water jog for an hour. I don't see that as a bad thing, that the exercise really put my body through the ringer. Just unexpected how tired it made me.

I work this weekend and the pool won't open until after the time I should be home and in bed, sleeping before the next shift. Instead, I'll hit the gym on Sunday morning and spend some much needed time on the elliptical. If I am going to do AIDS Walk Wisconsin this year, I need to do more exercises on dry land. This is a good opportunity.


Spent time with Dr. PeopleSkills, my surgeon, today. Considering this is the first appointment where I didn't have someone with me who could act as a buffer between me and his tactlessness, I think it went well. He did call me "big" again, but only once (that's improvement) and I didn't bludgeon him with the nearest object.

The appointment was a bit pointless though. It was essentially a weigh in and him saying "so, how do you feel?".

"Well, Doctor, I feel like you could have just called and asked me that, saving me time, if not money"

Plateau?

For people losing weight the more traditional method, this post may seem like a ridiculous whine and I should just be happy with what I got. Well, I'm not!

I lost about a pound a day, thanks to my surgery and my food choices. That's 7 lbs a week. This week (last Monday to today), I lost a little less than 2.5 lbs. I know my weight loss will slow down eventually, but I'm only a month and a half out of the O.R.!

This has sent me into a bit of a panic. I didn't go through that expensive, invasive surgery to help me lose 35 freakin' pounds. I wanted help losing 150 pounds!

I'm trying to remind myself that part of this could be water weight (my cycle is sooo messed up that it could be nearing TOM and I have no idea) or it could just be an off week. Something occurring once (in this case, a slow loss) is not a pattern and therefore no reason to freak out.--unfortunately, my anxiety laughs at my attempt at logic.


ETA (2/4/12 @ 6:21 PM CST): Per the great advice of some other post-op patients on My Fitness Pal, I decided to relax and not worry about the lack of weight loss. My body was probably holding onto the weight because, A) it's in panic after a month and a half of eating so small; and B) because I was stressing so much over the weight.

After I hit the gym and jogged in the water for a long time, which is weirdly relaxing, and just having a good day yesterday, I woke up today to 2 less pounds. Talk about quick turn around! lol.

An adventure in trying new foods

Trying a new food today--Arnold's Sandwhich Thins. I can't have bread (too sticky), but I can have toast right now. I haven't had toast yet. A regular sized piece seems like a whole lot of food to me at the moment, so I opted for half a sandwhich thin, toasted.

I cut it in half after toasting, flopped on two pieces of Oscar Meyer Cajun Chicken lunch meat, a sprinkle of mozzarella, and a very small smear of Kraft Lite Mayo and dijon mustard. I made a little sammich with 9 grams of protein and it was yummy!

Now, we wait. Will the expanding toast make me fell yacky? Right now, ten minutes after finishing, I feel fine, but only time will tell. I hope it doesn't bother me.

This is, of course, why the nutritionist and surgeon both say to try new foods at home, not out in public. If my system can't yet tolerate the new food, things good get painful and all vomity. That, as I learned with the Driveway Incident, can be embarassing.

Edited to add: It's been an hour and a half without issues. Yay!!

Recipes: Fix my food boredom?

I'm pretty excited to find recipes that I can actually have now, because I'm getting rather bored with Hormel Turkey Chili, turkey burgers, and tuna salad.

I've been printing out recipes from the blogs I mention previously and some from Food.com that are within my food restrictions and that sound good. I put those recipes in plastic slip sheets inside a binder. I'm 32 and have my first cookbook!

I'm excited about this, since part of this new journey is learning to be responsible for what I put in my body. Mostly, that means being the person who prepares it. That's new for me.

Wednesday mash up

This is a long, rambling post, filled with seemingly unrelated topics. That's just how I roll. Enjoy...

It's a little weird learning to plan meals for Travis and me. Right now, for the most part, we don't eat together. Occasionally, we'll have omelets together, but that's rare. Generally, our diets are just too different. However, I found some chicken breasts and two packets of stir fry veggies in the freezer. I'm thinking that, tomorrow night, we are going to try a real meal together!

The tricky part is that I'm unsure how I'll do with soy sauce. I would think I'm okay, because I've not been given any restrictions on sodium. *shrug* I'll try it. If it makes me nauseated or go all Poltergeist, we'll call it a lesson learned.

Edited to add: Dinner sucked. The two packs of veggies had apparently been in the freezer since the dawn of time and tasted bad when cooked. I was very disappointed.

The other day, I mentioned a blog named The World According to Eggface. Well, Bariatric Foodie is another great blog for getting recipes and advice. I've spent hours scouring through it and there's just so much info and so many things to try. She has these great "WLS Survival Guides" too, that give advice for situations like holiday parties, buffet eating, etc.

Several of the recipes, I'm pretty sure I can make and fool Travis into eating them. I bet he won't even know the difference between the "real" and the modified foods.

Tonight, I wore one of my new, smaller scrub tops. Do you know what most people have been commenting on at work? The fact that I left my hair down! WTH? I wear clothes that make me look 10-15 lbs lighter, instead of one of the sacks I've been wearing, and no one can get past the hair. Makes me almost feel like having Allheart bounce my checking account, neting me $60 in NSFs when they double billed me for my scrubs, wasn't worth it. :P

Thankfully, some people did notice. I even got a "lookin' good, Robyn!"

Foamy heartburn gone forever? I hope!

I'm looking back at the blog and also trying to remember if I've had the foamy, feel-awfulness recently. As far as I can tell, it's been about a week and a half. I call that progress!

Sometimes, I do feel overfull, but I blame that on how I drink. I must be somewhat dehydrated most of the time, because, when I do get liquids, I want to gulp them. That's bad. No gulp! This means I need to increase my fluid intake. It's so damn hard to do, though! I've tried. Ah well, we do what we have to do.

New work clothes with pics

My new scrubs tops must be part python--they tried to constrict the air right out of my lungs. May have to wait a few weeks to wear them, since they're too small yet. :/

They're 100% cotton. Can't wait until I forget and throw them in the dryer (drier?)!

ETA: So, I decided (with bed-head) to take a look at the difference between the new scrub tops and what I'd worn to work the night before. I'm beginning to really see why my coworkers urged me to get something that fit better...

Updating my work clothes

I was wearing a tank top this morning when I walked past my bathroom mirror and did a double take--I was actually taken aback by how much my body is shrinking. I especially noticed my arms and shoulders seem smaller. Embarrassingly, this has happened several times lately.

I think I just have an idea of what I should look like and I'm having trouble aligning that with how I really look. That'll come with time, I guess.

My coworkers badgered me into buying a few smaller scrub tops, because the ones I have are way too big. Once they arrive, it'll be nice to have my work clothes reflect my body now, instead of my body 30 pounds ago.

Since I ordered the new scrub tops, I decided to weed through my existing scrubs and load up the ones that are too big into a bin for sale this summer in our thrift sale. Uh, that bin is overflowing already. Not only did I go through my work clothes, but I hit my closet and dresser. I may not have successfully got rid of all of my bigger clothes, but I did a darn good job.

Eggface recipes

The woman who writes "The World According to Eggface" (a blog) is amazing. She had the same surgery I had, though in 2006. She also loves to cook and she has a blog with many Weight Loss Surgery friendly recipes.

Some of the recipes, I can actually eat now, even though I'm limited on my foods a little. Others, I can dream about making in a couple months. For example...

theworldaccordingtoeggface: Strawberry Cannoli

The great thing about finding recipes is that I can plug them into http://www.myfitnesspal.com and find out how many calories, carbs, protein, etc., is in something. I'm not left to guess and assume that I can't eat something.

Good bodies