On Facebook, I'm in a group for people interested in weight loss foods. Several someones mentioned House Foods Shiritaki Tofu Noodles as a pasta substitute. Hungry Girl uses them in multiple pasta and Asian based recipes. So, I decided to give them a shot.
I decided to make a red Alfredo --left over spaghetti sauce and lite Alfredo mixed--with chicken breast over the noodles. Emphasis was on the chicken breast, since I needed the protein.
Hungry Girl's preparation instructions and tips stated that the noodles odor-ific at first. This really was the case. They smelled like fish. Nothing worse than cat breath after a tuna treat, but still not pleasant. Going along with HG tips, I rinsed the noodles and patted them dry with paper towel (I guess the goal is to remove as much of the smelly water as possible) before microwaving them.
My 4 oz meal ended up being 0.35 oz sauce, 1.25 oz noodles, and 2.4 oz chicken.
My thoughts on the noodles:
~ Their texture is much softer than real pasta, but I'd been warned about that.
~ They got cold quickly. I could have just microwaved my plate to heat it up but I was lazy.
~ It's not the same as pasta, but it sure does the job of fixing a pasta craving, at least in small amounts like I had today.
In other news...
I hit the pool today and spent an hour(!) jogging in the water. I've never spent an hour doing ANY exercise before. Yes, most exercises are easier in the water, because there's less friction, but still...I jogged...for an HOUR. :D
Edited to add (2/4/12 5:04 AM): Okay, I should expect to be exhausted and in need of tylenold about 12 hours after I water jog for an hour. I don't see that as a bad thing, that the exercise really put my body through the ringer. Just unexpected how tired it made me.
I work this weekend and the pool won't open until after the time I should be home and in bed, sleeping before the next shift. Instead, I'll hit the gym on Sunday morning and spend some much needed time on the elliptical. If I am going to do AIDS Walk Wisconsin this year, I need to do more exercises on dry land. This is a good opportunity.
Spent time with Dr. PeopleSkills, my surgeon, today. Considering this is the first appointment where I didn't have someone with me who could act as a buffer between me and his tactlessness, I think it went well. He did call me "big" again, but only once (that's improvement) and I didn't bludgeon him with the nearest object.
The appointment was a bit pointless though. It was essentially a weigh in and him saying "so, how do you feel?".
"Well, Doctor, I feel like you could have just called and asked me that, saving me time, if not money"
Friday, February 3, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Plateau?
For people losing weight the more traditional method, this post may seem like a ridiculous whine and I should just be happy with what I got. Well, I'm not!
I lost about a pound a day, thanks to my surgery and my food choices. That's 7 lbs a week. This week (last Monday to today), I lost a little less than 2.5 lbs. I know my weight loss will slow down eventually, but I'm only a month and a half out of the O.R.!
This has sent me into a bit of a panic. I didn't go through that expensive, invasive surgery to help me lose 35 freakin' pounds. I wanted help losing 150 pounds!
I'm trying to remind myself that part of this could be water weight (my cycle is sooo messed up that it could be nearing TOM and I have no idea) or it could just be an off week. Something occurring once (in this case, a slow loss) is not a pattern and therefore no reason to freak out.--unfortunately, my anxiety laughs at my attempt at logic.
ETA (2/4/12 @ 6:21 PM CST): Per the great advice of some other post-op patients on My Fitness Pal, I decided to relax and not worry about the lack of weight loss. My body was probably holding onto the weight because, A) it's in panic after a month and a half of eating so small; and B) because I was stressing so much over the weight.
After I hit the gym and jogged in the water for a long time, which is weirdly relaxing, and just having a good day yesterday, I woke up today to 2 less pounds. Talk about quick turn around! lol.
I lost about a pound a day, thanks to my surgery and my food choices. That's 7 lbs a week. This week (last Monday to today), I lost a little less than 2.5 lbs. I know my weight loss will slow down eventually, but I'm only a month and a half out of the O.R.!
This has sent me into a bit of a panic. I didn't go through that expensive, invasive surgery to help me lose 35 freakin' pounds. I wanted help losing 150 pounds!
I'm trying to remind myself that part of this could be water weight (my cycle is sooo messed up that it could be nearing TOM and I have no idea) or it could just be an off week. Something occurring once (in this case, a slow loss) is not a pattern and therefore no reason to freak out.--unfortunately, my anxiety laughs at my attempt at logic.
ETA (2/4/12 @ 6:21 PM CST): Per the great advice of some other post-op patients on My Fitness Pal, I decided to relax and not worry about the lack of weight loss. My body was probably holding onto the weight because, A) it's in panic after a month and a half of eating so small; and B) because I was stressing so much over the weight.
After I hit the gym and jogged in the water for a long time, which is weirdly relaxing, and just having a good day yesterday, I woke up today to 2 less pounds. Talk about quick turn around! lol.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
An adventure in trying new foods
Trying a new food today--Arnold's Sandwhich Thins. I can't have bread (too sticky), but I can have toast right now. I haven't had toast yet. A regular sized piece seems like a whole lot of food to me at the moment, so I opted for half a sandwhich thin, toasted.
I cut it in half after toasting, flopped on two pieces of Oscar Meyer Cajun Chicken lunch meat, a sprinkle of mozzarella, and a very small smear of Kraft Lite Mayo and dijon mustard. I made a little sammich with 9 grams of protein and it was yummy!
Now, we wait. Will the expanding toast make me fell yacky? Right now, ten minutes after finishing, I feel fine, but only time will tell. I hope it doesn't bother me.
This is, of course, why the nutritionist and surgeon both say to try new foods at home, not out in public. If my system can't yet tolerate the new food, things good get painful and all vomity. That, as I learned with the Driveway Incident, can be embarassing.
Edited to add: It's been an hour and a half without issues. Yay!!
I cut it in half after toasting, flopped on two pieces of Oscar Meyer Cajun Chicken lunch meat, a sprinkle of mozzarella, and a very small smear of Kraft Lite Mayo and dijon mustard. I made a little sammich with 9 grams of protein and it was yummy!
Now, we wait. Will the expanding toast make me fell yacky? Right now, ten minutes after finishing, I feel fine, but only time will tell. I hope it doesn't bother me.
This is, of course, why the nutritionist and surgeon both say to try new foods at home, not out in public. If my system can't yet tolerate the new food, things good get painful and all vomity. That, as I learned with the Driveway Incident, can be embarassing.
Edited to add: It's been an hour and a half without issues. Yay!!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Recipes: Fix my food boredom?
I'm pretty excited to find recipes that I can actually have now, because I'm getting rather bored with Hormel Turkey Chili, turkey burgers, and tuna salad.
I've been printing out recipes from the blogs I mention previously and some from Food.com that are within my food restrictions and that sound good. I put those recipes in plastic slip sheets inside a binder. I'm 32 and have my first cookbook!
I'm excited about this, since part of this new journey is learning to be responsible for what I put in my body. Mostly, that means being the person who prepares it. That's new for me.
I've been printing out recipes from the blogs I mention previously and some from Food.com that are within my food restrictions and that sound good. I put those recipes in plastic slip sheets inside a binder. I'm 32 and have my first cookbook!
I'm excited about this, since part of this new journey is learning to be responsible for what I put in my body. Mostly, that means being the person who prepares it. That's new for me.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Wednesday mash up
This is a long, rambling post, filled with seemingly unrelated topics. That's just how I roll. Enjoy...
It's a little weird learning to plan meals for Travis and me. Right now, for the most part, we don't eat together. Occasionally, we'll have omelets together, but that's rare. Generally, our diets are just too different. However, I found some chicken breasts and two packets of stir fry veggies in the freezer. I'm thinking that, tomorrow night, we are going to try a real meal together!
The tricky part is that I'm unsure how I'll do with soy sauce. I would think I'm okay, because I've not been given any restrictions on sodium. *shrug* I'll try it. If it makes me nauseated or go all Poltergeist, we'll call it a lesson learned.
Edited to add: Dinner sucked. The two packs of veggies had apparently been in the freezer since the dawn of time and tasted bad when cooked. I was very disappointed.
The other day, I mentioned a blog named The World According to Eggface. Well, Bariatric Foodie is another great blog for getting recipes and advice. I've spent hours scouring through it and there's just so much info and so many things to try. She has these great "WLS Survival Guides" too, that give advice for situations like holiday parties, buffet eating, etc.
Several of the recipes, I'm pretty sure I can make and fool Travis into eating them. I bet he won't even know the difference between the "real" and the modified foods.
Tonight, I wore one of my new, smaller scrub tops. Do you know what most people have been commenting on at work? The fact that I left my hair down! WTH? I wear clothes that make me look 10-15 lbs lighter, instead of one of the sacks I've been wearing, and no one can get past the hair. Makes me almost feel like having Allheart bounce my checking account, neting me $60 in NSFs when they double billed me for my scrubs, wasn't worth it. :P
Thankfully, some people did notice. I even got a "lookin' good, Robyn!"
It's a little weird learning to plan meals for Travis and me. Right now, for the most part, we don't eat together. Occasionally, we'll have omelets together, but that's rare. Generally, our diets are just too different. However, I found some chicken breasts and two packets of stir fry veggies in the freezer. I'm thinking that, tomorrow night, we are going to try a real meal together!
The tricky part is that I'm unsure how I'll do with soy sauce. I would think I'm okay, because I've not been given any restrictions on sodium. *shrug* I'll try it. If it makes me nauseated or go all Poltergeist, we'll call it a lesson learned.
Edited to add: Dinner sucked. The two packs of veggies had apparently been in the freezer since the dawn of time and tasted bad when cooked. I was very disappointed.
The other day, I mentioned a blog named The World According to Eggface. Well, Bariatric Foodie is another great blog for getting recipes and advice. I've spent hours scouring through it and there's just so much info and so many things to try. She has these great "WLS Survival Guides" too, that give advice for situations like holiday parties, buffet eating, etc.
Several of the recipes, I'm pretty sure I can make and fool Travis into eating them. I bet he won't even know the difference between the "real" and the modified foods.
Tonight, I wore one of my new, smaller scrub tops. Do you know what most people have been commenting on at work? The fact that I left my hair down! WTH? I wear clothes that make me look 10-15 lbs lighter, instead of one of the sacks I've been wearing, and no one can get past the hair. Makes me almost feel like having Allheart bounce my checking account, neting me $60 in NSFs when they double billed me for my scrubs, wasn't worth it. :P
Thankfully, some people did notice. I even got a "lookin' good, Robyn!"
Foamy heartburn gone forever? I hope!
I'm looking back at the blog and also trying to remember if I've had the foamy, feel-awfulness recently. As far as I can tell, it's been about a week and a half. I call that progress!
Sometimes, I do feel overfull, but I blame that on how I drink. I must be somewhat dehydrated most of the time, because, when I do get liquids, I want to gulp them. That's bad. No gulp! This means I need to increase my fluid intake. It's so damn hard to do, though! I've tried. Ah well, we do what we have to do.
Sometimes, I do feel overfull, but I blame that on how I drink. I must be somewhat dehydrated most of the time, because, when I do get liquids, I want to gulp them. That's bad. No gulp! This means I need to increase my fluid intake. It's so damn hard to do, though! I've tried. Ah well, we do what we have to do.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
New work clothes with pics
My new scrubs tops must be part python--they tried to constrict the air right out of my lungs. May have to wait a few weeks to wear them, since they're too small yet. :/
They're 100% cotton. Can't wait until I forget and throw them in the dryer (drier?)!
ETA: So, I decided (with bed-head) to take a look at the difference between the new scrub tops and what I'd worn to work the night before. I'm beginning to really see why my coworkers urged me to get something that fit better...
They're 100% cotton. Can't wait until I forget and throw them in the dryer (drier?)!
ETA: So, I decided (with bed-head) to take a look at the difference between the new scrub tops and what I'd worn to work the night before. I'm beginning to really see why my coworkers urged me to get something that fit better...
Monday, January 23, 2012
Updating my work clothes
I was wearing a tank top this morning when I walked past my bathroom mirror and did a double take--I was actually taken aback by how much my body is shrinking. I especially noticed my arms and shoulders seem smaller. Embarrassingly, this has happened several times lately.
I think I just have an idea of what I should look like and I'm having trouble aligning that with how I really look. That'll come with time, I guess.
My coworkers badgered me into buying a few smaller scrub tops, because the ones I have are way too big. Once they arrive, it'll be nice to have my work clothes reflect my body now, instead of my body 30 pounds ago.
Since I ordered the new scrub tops, I decided to weed through my existing scrubs and load up the ones that are too big into a bin for sale this summer in our thrift sale. Uh, that bin is overflowing already. Not only did I go through my work clothes, but I hit my closet and dresser. I may not have successfully got rid of all of my bigger clothes, but I did a darn good job.
I think I just have an idea of what I should look like and I'm having trouble aligning that with how I really look. That'll come with time, I guess.
My coworkers badgered me into buying a few smaller scrub tops, because the ones I have are way too big. Once they arrive, it'll be nice to have my work clothes reflect my body now, instead of my body 30 pounds ago.
Since I ordered the new scrub tops, I decided to weed through my existing scrubs and load up the ones that are too big into a bin for sale this summer in our thrift sale. Uh, that bin is overflowing already. Not only did I go through my work clothes, but I hit my closet and dresser. I may not have successfully got rid of all of my bigger clothes, but I did a darn good job.
Eggface recipes
The woman who writes "The World According to Eggface" (a blog) is amazing. She had the same surgery I had, though in 2006. She also loves to cook and she has a blog with many Weight Loss Surgery friendly recipes.
Some of the recipes, I can actually eat now, even though I'm limited on my foods a little. Others, I can dream about making in a couple months. For example...
theworldaccordingtoeggface: Strawberry Cannoli
The great thing about finding recipes is that I can plug them into http://www.myfitnesspal.com and find out how many calories, carbs, protein, etc., is in something. I'm not left to guess and assume that I can't eat something.
Some of the recipes, I can actually eat now, even though I'm limited on my foods a little. Others, I can dream about making in a couple months. For example...
theworldaccordingtoeggface: Strawberry Cannoli
The great thing about finding recipes is that I can plug them into http://www.myfitnesspal.com and find out how many calories, carbs, protein, etc., is in something. I'm not left to guess and assume that I can't eat something.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
1st Nutritionist Appt/New food plan
Went to see my Nutritionist for the first time since my surgery. She advanced my diet a bit, which I'm both happy about and nervous.
Instead of primarily protein, at the expense of veggies. It was easy to deal with 3 oz of protein, because I could just make something, weigh it, and flop it into a container. Easy-peasy.
Now, I have to plan out three parts of each meal--1 oz protein, 1/4 cup veggies, and 2 tbsp starch. Meh. Complicated.
Also, how the hell do I get enough protein eating the new way? Hmmm? I am required to get 50-60 grams of protein a day, to make sure that, as I lose weight, my body gets rid of fat, not lean muscle.
As I was eating, I'd sometimes get 70 grams, but mostly pretty close to 60. Cutting my protein down by 2/3 each meal is going to make a dent in my protein intake. I can't use a real protein shake (I use Carnation Instant Breakfast) because, when I tried one a couple weeks ago, it made me sick. So, I'm not getting as much as I could from a shake to balance the reduction in food based protein.
I'm sure it'll work out. Just takes some time to learn what and how to do things. I'm not a fan of change, but life is full of it and I'm learning to roll with what's thrown at me.
Instead of primarily protein, at the expense of veggies. It was easy to deal with 3 oz of protein, because I could just make something, weigh it, and flop it into a container. Easy-peasy.
Now, I have to plan out three parts of each meal--1 oz protein, 1/4 cup veggies, and 2 tbsp starch. Meh. Complicated.
Also, how the hell do I get enough protein eating the new way? Hmmm? I am required to get 50-60 grams of protein a day, to make sure that, as I lose weight, my body gets rid of fat, not lean muscle.
As I was eating, I'd sometimes get 70 grams, but mostly pretty close to 60. Cutting my protein down by 2/3 each meal is going to make a dent in my protein intake. I can't use a real protein shake (I use Carnation Instant Breakfast) because, when I tried one a couple weeks ago, it made me sick. So, I'm not getting as much as I could from a shake to balance the reduction in food based protein.
I'm sure it'll work out. Just takes some time to learn what and how to do things. I'm not a fan of change, but life is full of it and I'm learning to roll with what's thrown at me.
Friday, January 20, 2012
I might be a liiiiittle sensitive
Men just don't understand female hormones or they'd be far more afraid to speak.
Today, Travis said, "you're going to need to get some new clothes soon. You look ridiculous."
WTF? I took time to blow dry my hair and fix it. I'm wearing jeans instead of my usual jogging pants and the shirt I'm wearing isn't one of his hated hooded sweatshirts. Give a girl some credit, @$&%er!
I looked at him and said, "I look ridiculous?!" I'm pretty sure there were daggers coming out of my eyes too.
He explained, with far less remorse for the confusion than he should have, that he meant my clothes are just too big now. I have "no shape", to use his words, which were also fighting words in my opinion.
The man just is too much of a straight shooter--too blunt--for his own good, which I've come to realize that Testosterone is to blame. Most men have no idea that they could avoid so many arguments and misunderstandings if they'd just soften their words a little. They're not trying to be mean (Travis would never intentionally say anything to hurt my feelings. I KNOW this.), there's just no warning bell that goes off in their brains before potentially bad words pass their lips.
I've had cramps for three weeks and now have a light period. The man could get himself wounded throwing around things like, "you look ridiculous" and "you have no shape." Foolish penis-bearer.
Today, Travis said, "you're going to need to get some new clothes soon. You look ridiculous."
WTF? I took time to blow dry my hair and fix it. I'm wearing jeans instead of my usual jogging pants and the shirt I'm wearing isn't one of his hated hooded sweatshirts. Give a girl some credit, @$&%er!
I looked at him and said, "I look ridiculous?!" I'm pretty sure there were daggers coming out of my eyes too.
He explained, with far less remorse for the confusion than he should have, that he meant my clothes are just too big now. I have "no shape", to use his words, which were also fighting words in my opinion.
The man just is too much of a straight shooter--too blunt--for his own good, which I've come to realize that Testosterone is to blame. Most men have no idea that they could avoid so many arguments and misunderstandings if they'd just soften their words a little. They're not trying to be mean (Travis would never intentionally say anything to hurt my feelings. I KNOW this.), there's just no warning bell that goes off in their brains before potentially bad words pass their lips.
I've had cramps for three weeks and now have a light period. The man could get himself wounded throwing around things like, "you look ridiculous" and "you have no shape." Foolish penis-bearer.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
My uterus is The Hulk
I get a Depo shot every three months. The purpose is that I should not get pregnant for at least a year and a half after my surgery. Until then, what I can eat is not enough to sustain me AND a growing baby.
One of the positive side effects, especially for someone like me who has a uterus with a mind of its own, is that the shot should keep away visits from Evil Aunt Flo. God, how I wish that were true.
I had my second shot on January 6th. Since before then, I've been spotting and now I'm up to light Evil Aunt Flo. Add nasty cramps to this and I'm sort of miserable.
No, this isn't the worst that I've ever dealt with. I had a heavy period for three months at one point. I had an ovarian cyst too, that left me cramps that doubled me over every five minutes. That lasted nearly a month. Even with this not being comparatively horrible, I'm kind of whiny about it because it shouldn't be happening! I should be Aunt Flo free, damn it!
Part of the problem is that I'm losing weight so fast, releasing a bunch of estrogen from my fat cells. My body is flooded with the hormone, sending my cycle into a tail spin.
Even with the estrogen flooding/fast weight loss, I hope this resolves itself soon. My uterus is the frickin' Hulk and I don't like it when it's angry.
One of the positive side effects, especially for someone like me who has a uterus with a mind of its own, is that the shot should keep away visits from Evil Aunt Flo. God, how I wish that were true.
I had my second shot on January 6th. Since before then, I've been spotting and now I'm up to light Evil Aunt Flo. Add nasty cramps to this and I'm sort of miserable.
No, this isn't the worst that I've ever dealt with. I had a heavy period for three months at one point. I had an ovarian cyst too, that left me cramps that doubled me over every five minutes. That lasted nearly a month. Even with this not being comparatively horrible, I'm kind of whiny about it because it shouldn't be happening! I should be Aunt Flo free, damn it!
Part of the problem is that I'm losing weight so fast, releasing a bunch of estrogen from my fat cells. My body is flooded with the hormone, sending my cycle into a tail spin.
Even with the estrogen flooding/fast weight loss, I hope this resolves itself soon. My uterus is the frickin' Hulk and I don't like it when it's angry.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
A whine and a cheer
Whine: I've been told by multiple people that I need to get smaller scrubs for work. Suppose I'll have to shell out the cash soon. Meh, I'm a cheap-ass.
Cheer: I was tapping my fingers on my desk and realized that I could actually see the muscles move in my forearm. Whoa. Who knew I had muscle anywhere?!
Cheer: I was tapping my fingers on my desk and realized that I could actually see the muscles move in my forearm. Whoa. Who knew I had muscle anywhere?!
Pills, sex, vomiting: Oh my!
So, Travis and I were cuddling, getting near to some "happy, fun couple-time" and, suddenly, I had to get up, run to the bathroom, and vomit. After brushing my teeth, I headed back to the bedroom and said, "if I have to do that again, it's not a comment on you!" He laughed.
The problem seems to be with my anti-anxiety pill. I have to bust it in half to take it. When I take the split pill, it seems to become foamy in my stomach. Don't know if it's because it is split or what. The foamy feeling happens other times too, but it commonly happens after I take my pill. :/
The problem seems to be with my anti-anxiety pill. I have to bust it in half to take it. When I take the split pill, it seems to become foamy in my stomach. Don't know if it's because it is split or what. The foamy feeling happens other times too, but it commonly happens after I take my pill. :/
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I'm part fish
Went for my first swim. Sooo nice.
Swimming laps and such made my knee hurt and it would snap occassionally. So, I gave up quickly and found alternative activities to keep me moving. I spent a half hour stretching in the shallow end while the water aerobics class finished and then I spent another half hour treading water and running in place.
Both the treading and the running allowed me to close my eyes and enjoy. Would have been perfect if I had a water proof MP3 player. Oh, dare to dream.
Swimming laps and such made my knee hurt and it would snap occassionally. So, I gave up quickly and found alternative activities to keep me moving. I spent a half hour stretching in the shallow end while the water aerobics class finished and then I spent another half hour treading water and running in place.
Both the treading and the running allowed me to close my eyes and enjoy. Would have been perfect if I had a water proof MP3 player. Oh, dare to dream.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Eating little isn't easy
A week or so ago, I said that I feel like I'm cheating, because I don't feel hungry very often. Now, on the flip side, it does feel good when someone sees what I eat--the small amounts--and says, "I don't think I'd have the restraint to stop there." That is a comment on what I'm actually doing, which is keeping good control on what I eat and how much.
Yes, my body does have a "reminder" if I do screw up (vomiting and pain), but I haven't triggered it in a while. When I have cravings, I ride them out, knowing that I usually only obsess about a food for about 20 minutes. After that, I'm good again. I do not eat more than 3.10 oz at a meal. I'm not letting my moods dictate what and how much I eat.
I'm making changes and sticking with the new behaviors. That is something to be proud of.
Yes, my body does have a "reminder" if I do screw up (vomiting and pain), but I haven't triggered it in a while. When I have cravings, I ride them out, knowing that I usually only obsess about a food for about 20 minutes. After that, I'm good again. I do not eat more than 3.10 oz at a meal. I'm not letting my moods dictate what and how much I eat.
I'm making changes and sticking with the new behaviors. That is something to be proud of.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Avoiding my tactless Dad
My dad and I have been playing phone tag for the last couple weeks. I tried again today with no answer. Honestly, that was a relief, since I don't want to talk to him.
My parents never married and split when I was around 6 months old. He hasn't been around much. When I would visit him as a child, it was almost always at a bar. He'd drink (he's an alcoholic, sometimes recovering.) and I'd sit there bored, his version of quality time. We interact so little that he often forgets how old I really am--for example, he called my mom to arrange a child exchange when I was 21 years old.
Based on our relationship over the years, I'm not sure I want him to know about my surgery. This is a man not known for his tact, especially if he's been drinking. When I was about 10 years old, he actually said to me, "it's good that you got a little taller. For a while you were looking like a barrel." It's comments like that, that make me leery about him knowing that I had to have surgery to lose enough weight to be healthy.
Problem is, Dad is now friends with my mom's boyfriend (I don't understand it, since they hated each other for years, and I want it to stop, but no one is listening to me on the subject). Mom's boyfriend knows about the surgery. Hell, he even visited me in the hospital. The boyfriend and Dad hang out at a local VFW and shoot the breeze. Considering foreign wars, Mom, and me are their major things in common, I'd bet my surgery has come up.
His lack of involvement in my life should mean that his opinion means nothing to me, but that's not the case. Come on, who doesn't want approval from their Dad when it comes to a major decision? Even if you want to let it go, it's freakin' hard!
Dad hasn't met my fiance' yet, though we've been dating for five and a half years, which means I haven't seen dad in more than that (to me, dates are "BT"/Before Travis and "AT"/After Travis. lol). I'm sure once we finally finish this game of phone tag and talk, he'll want to get together. I reeeeeaaaally would like to put the in-person meeting off until the spring, when I've had more time to lose weight. It would make me feel better about seeing him, because it would make it easier for me to show that the surgery was worth it.
Really, I just need to grow a thicker skin when it comes to Dad and let what he says roll off. I need to be more confident in who I am, decisions I've made, and the things I've accomplished.
My parents never married and split when I was around 6 months old. He hasn't been around much. When I would visit him as a child, it was almost always at a bar. He'd drink (he's an alcoholic, sometimes recovering.) and I'd sit there bored, his version of quality time. We interact so little that he often forgets how old I really am--for example, he called my mom to arrange a child exchange when I was 21 years old.
Based on our relationship over the years, I'm not sure I want him to know about my surgery. This is a man not known for his tact, especially if he's been drinking. When I was about 10 years old, he actually said to me, "it's good that you got a little taller. For a while you were looking like a barrel." It's comments like that, that make me leery about him knowing that I had to have surgery to lose enough weight to be healthy.
Problem is, Dad is now friends with my mom's boyfriend (I don't understand it, since they hated each other for years, and I want it to stop, but no one is listening to me on the subject). Mom's boyfriend knows about the surgery. Hell, he even visited me in the hospital. The boyfriend and Dad hang out at a local VFW and shoot the breeze. Considering foreign wars, Mom, and me are their major things in common, I'd bet my surgery has come up.
His lack of involvement in my life should mean that his opinion means nothing to me, but that's not the case. Come on, who doesn't want approval from their Dad when it comes to a major decision? Even if you want to let it go, it's freakin' hard!
Dad hasn't met my fiance' yet, though we've been dating for five and a half years, which means I haven't seen dad in more than that (to me, dates are "BT"/Before Travis and "AT"/After Travis. lol). I'm sure once we finally finish this game of phone tag and talk, he'll want to get together. I reeeeeaaaally would like to put the in-person meeting off until the spring, when I've had more time to lose weight. It would make me feel better about seeing him, because it would make it easier for me to show that the surgery was worth it.
Really, I just need to grow a thicker skin when it comes to Dad and let what he says roll off. I need to be more confident in who I am, decisions I've made, and the things I've accomplished.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Shirts and a shrinking stomach
I just tucked in my shirt and it didn't make me hate myself or scream, "I look like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka!" :D A shrinking stomach rocks.
Burgers: Food from Heaven
I just had my first burger. It was three ounces of Heaven! lol
I had 2.8 oz ground turkey with a little oil mixed in to keep it moist**, onions, and seasonings. I threw it on my Cuisinart Griddler for about three minutes. Then, I topped it with a small amount of mozzarella cheese, ketchup and mustard. So good...and normal!
Sometimes I struggle with feeling like I'll never get to eat "normal" food again. Right now, I have to plan everything out and weigh it. Some things have to be modified so my body can process it without making me feel ill. This burger felt normal. :)
**turkey burger turns to particle board when it gets dry.
I had 2.8 oz ground turkey with a little oil mixed in to keep it moist**, onions, and seasonings. I threw it on my Cuisinart Griddler for about three minutes. Then, I topped it with a small amount of mozzarella cheese, ketchup and mustard. So good...and normal!
Sometimes I struggle with feeling like I'll never get to eat "normal" food again. Right now, I have to plan everything out and weigh it. Some things have to be modified so my body can process it without making me feel ill. This burger felt normal. :)
**turkey burger turns to particle board when it gets dry.
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