Walking doesn't suck. Who knew?

Last week, I bought a Fitbit. It's a pedometer that tracks steps, flights of stairs, your activity level by the minute, and your sleep quality. It's quite the little contraption.

I purchased it because I needed something to challenge myself with and to help me change my old attitude toward walking. I'm not competitive with out people, because I've never been at a fitness level where it was even possible to consider being able to beat someone athletically, but I can be very competitive with myself. With the Fitbit, each day, I try to walk just a little further or go up another flight of steps.

Yesterday, I had an excellent day, exercise/walking-wise.

I didn't get up until noon-ish and sat on my butt until about 4 PM. Then, I drug my fiance to the local park and we walked quite a ways (for us, anyway), looking at the animals. Travis actually wanted to turn and head back to the car before I did. That's never happened before!! Between walking and gawking at the animals, I'd say we were out about an hour.

Then, I headed to Mom's to do laundry--yep, I'm 32 and still do laundry at my moms. :P While her clothes were finishing, before mine went in, we decided to go for a short walk. The walk probably took 20-25 minutes. There was 30 minutes left on the dryer load when we left and it wasn't quite finished when we arrived back at the house.

Keeping in mind that, between the time I woke up and when I left for the park I probably had less than 1,000 steps in, I'd say hitting over 10,000 steps was an excellent achievement! My total distance was 10,582 steps by midnight, which equals 4.01 miles with my stride length. At least 2.5 would have been from walking with Travis and Mom.

That's the most steps I've had in a day since buying my Fitbit. The fact I don't hurt from all the walking shows me how far I've come with getting fit and that I could have gone further. I'm tired, because that's more exercise than I normally get in a day, but it certainly wasn't my limit.

Prior to my weight loss, walking was painful, boring, and hard to do for more than a short while. Unfortunately, I have had a hard time losing that opinion since losing nearly 80 pounds. It's no longer hard or painful. Yeah, if I'm alone, it's still boring, but that's where my iPod comes in, right?

Right now, I'm excited about how far I walked and how easy it was. In a couple days, I may fall back into that old attitude. I felt that way for so long that it creeps back in and erases that enthusiasm easily.

Maybe that should be my self-assigned homework to work on getting rid of the old, hateful attitude toward walking and exercise. Exercise and walk often enough that the enthusiasm doesn't have time to be erased.

Depo Difficulties

The day after tomorrow (March 24), I am due to get my next birth control shot. I'm a little torn on how excited I am about this.

On the plus side, it will hopefully FINALLY stop my period. This is my third shot. One would hope that, after three, the beast would be tamed.

I'm on week number two, right now, of having my period (not just spotting!) while on a birth control that is famous for getting rid of a woman's period. I'm so beyond special. I'm praying this next shot makes me a little less special. Sometimes, it's good to be average. :)

On the negative side, for a week after I get it, I will want to eat everything in sight, whether I'm hungry or not.

Lately, I've been fighting the compulsion to eat anyway. I'll admit I've been over my calories a few times this last week. I haven't eaten bad things, just too often. That's though to fight without the BC shot egging me on. But, I've found that these cravings or compulsions come and go. I'll just have to get my self psyched up to fight them. It so nice out that I'll have to make myself go for a walk or something.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, right? So, I'm planning to keep active in some way shape or form. I'll walk, I have a new Wii exercise game that I can play (though I'm a little scared after I hurt my shoulder playing Wii tennis. Sad, right? LOL), and I have my Kindle loaded with good books. My new motto should be "Do."

Photos: 77 lbs lost

I haven't updated pictures in a while. Let's fix that!

The left pic is just 16 days after my surgery at approx 273 lbs. The right pic was about two months
after surgery and I was at around 253 lbs.



This was taken on Monday. Ignore the ugly hair, please. I'm down 77 lbs, weighing 239.4 lbs. I still have elbow blub, but I've always had big arms so that'll take a while to shrink up. Did you notice, though...I have something of a waist! Kinda excited about that.

3 months post-op and life's good

Been a good few days...

Thursday, March 15th, was my 3 month surg-iversary. Still no complications, I'm losing weight, and feeling good.

Friday, March 16th, I saw Dr. PeopleSkills for another post-op check up. Must have beed a Stepford or Pod version of him, because he didn't once call me or my stomach "big" and he said I was doing great. Yes, he said something positive! I like Pod Dr. PeopleSkills. :)

Also, Friday night, my mom and I went to see Bill Engvall, the comedian, at Eau Claire's State Theater. Very funny show. We had a great time.

Today, March 17th, I weighed myself at work and found that I've lost more than two pounds, putting me at 77+ pounds lost total. I'd been sitting at just under 75 pounds for a little while and it was so nice to blow past that. Woohoo!


And, just because I like happy thoughts:
Live, because it's more exciting. Laugh, because it's contagious. Love, because it's always worth it!

Schnapps-like protein shakes?! Yes, please!

I can't drink. Well, I could, but I'd be loaded really quick, as my surgery has changed my absorption of alcohols.

I can't tell you how much I miss Peppermint Schnapps**, so imagine my joy when I opened my big new bottle of DaVinci Gourmet Sugar Free Peppermint Syrup and realized it smells just like my beloved schnapps! Who's protein shakes are going to taste like fun (fun that won't give me alcohol poisoning)?! That's right, mine!


ETA: I accidentally used too much the first time I put this in my protein shake. Waaaaay too sweet. Today's shake is a much better success. My Carnation shakes are chocolate and I added a half pump of peppermint, adding just a hint of flavor. Yummy chocolate peppermint.

**I'm not an alcoholic, I swear! I rarely drank before my surgery, but, when I did go out with friends, I always started off with a yummy Peppermint Schnapps shot.

Monday Mash Up (rambles)

I ran into another post-oper tonight. She had her surgery four years ago and was someone I'd contacted prior to going into the pre-op program.

We were talking and I mentioned how I call my/our surgeon "Dr. PeopleSkills" because he doesn't have any. I feel validated, because she agreed! She said she dreads going to see him. I'm glad it's not just me, though I hate that he treats others that way.


I know I already mentioned that I went swimming on Saturday, but I forgot to say that I must be getting a lot of loose skin from losing quickly, because I could really feel stuff move when I was jogging. That is NOT a pleasant feeling. Weird is probably the best description.

I didn't like it at all until I thought about the fact that that skin use to be packed with fat. It's loose because I lost. That's not a bad thing and it'll shrink up.


Unrelated to my health journey... I think my cat is getting another UTI. She's pretty needy right now and yells a lot. It's been a year since the last one, so I can't complain too much. It use to be a quarterly occurrence.

Now, I have to try to get a urine sample from her. That’s an exercise in futility. That cat holds urine like a camel holds water. I’ve been trying for four years to get one. The closest I came was when she peed on the vet’s floor. <--I laughed. The vet didn't.

I would seriously pay someone to do this for me! I know I'll spend my three days off of work trying to keep her locked in a room with an empty litter box. Problem is, I feel bad for her and let her out too soon.

Bananas: devil food or yummy fruit?

I just ate part of a banana. Will it stay in my stomach nicely or will it make me sick? This is just one of the many thrilling adventures I have with food as a RNY post-op patient. Oh, the excitement of the unknown!

The last time I had a banana, it didn't end positively. I figure that it has too much sugar. Took me a long time to decide to try again, but I need to do it. My system can handle more now than it could even a month ago. Plus, I'd hate to live without bananas for ever. They're yummy little yellow tubes of goodness.

Edited to add: It stayed down!

Pepsi wishes and pizza dreams

I dreamed that I was eating pizza and it was such a vivid dream. Now, more than anything, I want pizza with a thick crust and lots of cheese. Ugh!

That would send my frankensteined stomach into a world of hurt (all that doughy goodness), but it sure sounds good.

Beautiful and busy day

Today is a beautiful Wisconsin day. It's 60 degrees in the beginning of March! Gusty winds, but that's more than tolerable.

I am not missing this gorgeous day, like I did earlier in the week. I made a point to be up, even though I'm normally asleep until 5 PM.

So far, I've gone to the pool, went out for breakfast, spent an hour (or two!) with my honey putting up a curtain rod (that was a lesson in working through frustration-fueled conflict), played outside with the cats, and played some New Super Mario Bros. on Wii. I'm exhausted.

Like I said, I did go swimming today, which was wonderful. When i say "swimming", I actually mean I mostly jogged in the water. Either way, good times.

It is so nice out that my cat, who is generally terrified to go outside during daylight hours, happily trotted outside on her own about an hour ago. She spent ten minutes rolling on the walkway. Her cabin fever was just that bad.

Heck, I thought the reason she'd been yowling at me all day is that she thought she deserved a treat. Guess she didn't need the gushy food I gave her. Bet she'd argue that though.

I'm a bashful beauty, I guess.

I've been at work an hour. In that time, I've had four people stop me and make a big deal about telling me how good I look with the weight loss.

While I greatly appreciate their words, it makes me want to hide. I'd have been fine with one person saying something, but, at this point, I feel like an exhibit in a zoo or something. Does that make sense? It's too much attention for my comfort, so I plaster a fake smile on and try to get away ASAP.

I also feel bad that I'm whining about people noticing my weight loss. Who doesn't want to lose weight fast and have people notice, right? Well, I guess I'm just a complicated woman.

I hear it was nice out

Yesterday was beautiful! ...I hear. I slept through it. :/

I was so tired that I slept more than 12 hours, making me miss the nice weather and not getting in enough protein or water. Now, I'm super thirsty and grumpy about my wasted day off.

First post-op road trip

On Sunday, I had my first road trip since my surgery. I totally forgot how food-centered my family's trips are. It was tough not to eat the whole way there and back.

Mom's boyfriend had a triple heart bypass in August. On Friday, two of those bypasses failed. We drove over to The Cities (St. Paul, MN), a nearly two hour drive, to pick up the boyfriend from the Veteran's Hospital.

I intentionally brought my protein shake and some Greek yogurt, but we hit a gas station on the way out of my hometown for snacks. I did good (I think), because I kept it to beef jerky, which was under my fat and sugar restrictions and high in protein. While that's good, I'm pretty sure I ate too much of it.

On the way home, the boyfriend wanted to stop at McDonald's. Quite a heart healthy meal for the cardiac patient. *rolls eyes*. That left me sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and watching them eat, because there's nothing at that restaurant that is under 3 fat grams and under 12 grams of sugar--salads don't count because I can't eat raw veggies.

However, it was funny that the stop reminded me of my McDonald's fantasies right after my surgery, when my pureed diet was killing my morale. I use to fantasize about driving to McDonald's to get a cheeseburger and licking it, so I could taste something yummy and familiar.

Oh, I had an exciting non-scale victory. I bought underwear ("panties" to people with class. :P ) that were 2 sizes smaller than what I bought the last time. How cool is that?!

More Positive Follow up to "Long time.."

I just posted a couple hours ago, after a 9-10 day hiatus. I felt that post was just "meh". There was nothing positive in it. I don't like that. I may over use sarcasm and bitch about things, but I'm a closet optimist. So, I found some positivity to share...

1st: I've lost 70 pounds since April 1st. That' 50 pounds post op. :D

Okay, okay, I'm actually 0.1 pounds short, but I'm all about rounding! I've been round my whole life. Smaller hips just means I need to round somewhere else.

That's a huge accomplishment to someone trying to get healthy! I'm pretty happy about that. That puts me at nearly 40% of the way to my goal weight. Fiiiiine, it's actually 37.4%, but, remember, I'm a rounder.

Being the crazy cat lady that I am, I compare my weight loss to cat food bags. Essentially, I've lost 4.1 bags of 17 lb Cat Chow when including my pre-op weight loss. Those suckers are heavy and I had four of them on my stomach and ass!

2nd: I just took a break and did some laps inside the building, to try to make up for being such a lazy ass with my exercise. I couldn't believe how fast I was able to walk and how many laps I could do! Wow.

I'd have quit after a couple before I lost the weight. I did several tonight and will probably do several more later. That is also a great feeling and something I'm very happy about.

Long Time No Post

Wow, long time no post!

I haven't lost any weight in the last week. Holding strong at 248 pounds, which is a 69 lb loss since April 2011. I'm not going to complain about that. I've been slacking in the exercise department, so I figure that's part of it. Plus, an occasional plateau is not unexpected.

I must be losing inches though, because the pants I bought a couple weeks ago are getting too big.

I'm still cold all the time. In fact, I jacked up the heat in my office at work to 75 degrees tonight. It's almost comfortable, though a little cool yet. I could wear a sweatshirt, but I hate wearing them at work. This scrub outfit is too cute to cover up. ;)

We had a big snow storm here in West Central Wisconsin yesterday. I was suppose to work last night, but my coworker offered to switch and I'd work Thursday (tonight) instead, keeping me off the roads until the storm was over and cleaned up.

So, I'm at work tonight. Not a bad place to be, though I'd rather be at home--really, who wouldn't, if given the choice?! The thing is that I seem to be all kinds of sensitive tonight--to smell (oh, people, take a bath!), to noise (whimpering, unnecessarily dramatic, drunk families), and various other irritants that I choose to blame on missing my anxiety meds for a few days.

I was suppose to have an appointment with my Nutritionist tomorrow, but, because I work until 6 AM, had planned to swim after work, and need to sleep before I go on the yearly post-tax return pilgrimage to the casino with family, I was going to be too tired for my appointment, so I rescheduled.

They can't get me in for a month and a half! Seriously, it's a 15-20 minute appointment. She just needs to tell me I am eating okay and whether I can start branching out in food. I keep thinking, "I wonder if my appointment is still open in the morning." Doubt it. *cry*

This isn't a terribly positive post. Sort of whiny, in fact. Sorry about that. I have no doubt that there were positive things that I'd planned on blogging about, but have escaped my mind since then. I'll work on that. :)

Surgery Bills

It's just over two months after my surgery. :) Some days it seems like more than that and others it seems so recently.

Also, the other day, I received my bill for my surgery and it looks like my health insurance paid for EVERYTHING! *happy dance* I don't owe a single dime for my surgery or my 4 night/5 day hospital stay.

They snuck me in at the end of the year because we figured I'd met my out of pocket expenses for the year thanks to the ton of pre-op appointments I'd had for the prior 8 months. I only had about a week notice before my surgery because the surgeons rearrainged things to get me in before 2012. The short notice and being a pain in their asses was not a waste. :D

Thyroid pill and weight loss

I can no longer doubt the effect (affect?) that my thyroid has on my metabolism. Nope.

As previously mentioned, I kept forgetting my pills, including the pill to counter-act my underactive thyroid. My weight loss slowed right around the time I'd started missing pills. It went from abou 6-7 pounds lost a week to 3 pounds.

I've started taking my thyroid pill again regularly. I think it's been about five days now--not long, but what a difference it makes! In the last seven days, I've lost five pounds. Heck, since Monday, I've lost 1.8 lbs.

I haven't felt an increase in energy, unfortunately, but that will come. For now, I just want to sleep. I slept an embarassingly long amount of time yesterday, completely wasting my day off.

I'm still cold a lot of the time too, but that's probably a combination of my thyroid and losing weight. A slow thyroid lowers the body temp slightly. Also, I'm use to more insulating fat on my body. It's taking time to adjust.

I haven't been to gym in probably two weeks. My plan is to go in the morning, but I am just so tired. Hopefully, I get past that enough to drag my ass to the pool.

My Meds

Due to my own laziness/apathy/exhaustion, I've been really bad about taking my thyroid pill, anti-anxiety med, and my vitamins. Not taking the thyroid med slows down my system--metabolism, my heart, my body temp, and my mental functions (to a point)--making me more lazy, apathetic, and exhausted. It's a vicious circle.

I've been amazingly good off my anxiety med. Normally, off the med, I am high strung, waiting for something bad to happen. I never know what, but I'm primed and nervous waiting for it to happen. Since going off it, I've been moody (quickly going from happy to annoyed), but my anxiety hasn't been massive. It's there, but not overwhelming.

However, when I told my surgeon that I went off my Paxil because I'm having trouble remembering and splitting it in half to take it was making it foam in my stomach (made me feel awful), he said that right now is not the time to wean myself off. I probably won't need as much later, when I have the extra weight off and life has returned to somewhat normal, but, for now, he'd like me to keep taking it and just to swallow it whole. Fiiiine. lol

Today, I picked up my thyroid refill. I went to Walmart on a Sunday afternoon. God must have felt sorry for me, because, by some miracle, no one made me feel homicidal, which is my usual reaction to going to Walmart (especially when dealing with the pharmacy staff).

I'm determined to get myself back on track with all of my pills, so I took both my Paxil and my thyroid med as soon as I got home. I just had my first meal after midnight and took both of my multivitamins. Next several meals each get a calcium chewable. Nummy. :/

The plan is to make this all very routine. I need to create a habit of taking the multivitamins and the calcium before each meal and my Paxil and Synthroid before bed. Sounds easy enough, right? We shall see!



I'm writing this with a big, two day headache. Please forgive me if it's boring, random, or written poorly. The little man chipping away at my right temple is distracting me from quality writing.

Tonight, I had to call the local Sheriff Department because a member of my pre-op therapy group stated online that he was going to kill himself.

He wants the surgery done, but because of insurance issues, he has to start the whole program over. He thinks that going through the therapy stuff "let out his demons" and his head is now all messed up and he's not doing that again.

His post on our private Facebook group stated directly that he had decided to end his life.

Even prior to tonight's post, it's been obvious that he's in the middle of some serious psychological pain and he needs help. Tonight's post was just the scale tipper that said, "okay, no more telling him he needs to seek help. Now, we send it to him."

Now, the ball is directly in his court. He can use the assistance to get better or he can choose not to help himself. No matter how much help is offered, no one can make that decision for him. *sigh*

I admit, I'm afraid that the other group members will be pissed at me and remove me because I broke confidentiality. However, a FB group does not have the same confidentiality rules as group therapy AND he outright stated he was going to kill himself. I'm sorry, but the threat of self harm takes away the right to privacy. If they toss me from the group, so be it.

Weight and goal updates

I weighed myself today. Down to 259.6 lbs. That means multple things.

1) My BMI is down 11 (points?) since I started losing weight in April. That is excellent. Still very high, but an excellent improvement.

2) I now weigh less than I did when I met Travis, five and a half years ago. Not much less and I do wear it differently, thanks to age and sagging skin from losing so quickly, but I am very happy with this victory none the less.

My next goal is to get my weight down to less than his. Yes, at 5' 2", I weigh more than my 6'1" boyfriend. It's embarassing to admit, but it is the truth. However, I plan to make it untrue very soon. Only 30 pounds (give or take some) until I pass his weight. A couple months, maybe.

My weight since surgery

Post op weights, so far:

12/19/2011 - 301.2 lbs (that included water weight gained from surgery/IVs)
12/26/2011 - 276.3 lbs
01/03/2012 - 273.7 lbs
01/09/2012 - 270.8 lbs
01/14/2012 - 268.6 lbs
01/18/2012 - 267.5 lbs
01/22/2012 - 265.5 lbs
01/30/2012 - 263.1 lbs
02/04/2012 - 261.1 lbs <--- as of today, I've lost 36 lbs post op; 56 lbs total